Friday, 31 October 2008

Phaze Halloween Sale

It's All Hallows Eve and to 'celebrate' (Look, I'm British, I don't get Halloween, okay. To me it's just an excuse for already horrid teenagers to demand cash from strangers) Phaze Books are having a sale.

You can take 20% off all your orders, today only, by using the special code word - "CANDYCORN".

That means you can get Charlotte's Secret with a fifth off. Or Lost&Found for four fifths the usual price.

Go on. Treat Yourself.

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 01:18 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 09:07 Warmer today, but still damn cold. I hope it's not like this all bloody winter #
  • 09:09 I'm going to crack on and do loads and loads today. At least, that's the plan. But as we all know, the best laid plans... #
  • 09:10 Need something hot inside me before I can really get going though. Behave - I'm talking about a cup of tea. #
  • 10:08 @CassieExline I've got them. No wait, they're not your mins, they're mine. #
  • 11:52 trying to do some editiing right now. Then i have a blog to write. then I might do some of the work I get paid to do. #
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Thursday, 30 October 2008

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 09:40 Okay. Back at my desk after a weekend and few days away. And it's bloody cold. plus, the internet bank isn't workiong. it'll be a good day. #
  • 09:41 We had four lovely days away. Sunglasses weather (inbetween the showers). Even had the sunnies on in the car yesterday driving home......... #
  • 09:42 And then after we got home, unpacked the car and were settling down to cook tea - it started snowing! I blame global warming. #
  • 09:43 Seriously - it shouldn't be this cold. I blame global warming. We're obviously not warming the planet enough. #
  • 10:29 @ladlem Can you send some of that heat our way. Thanks. #
  • 11:27 the morning has flown by again. It's nearly lunchtime and I feel like I've not very much at all. #
  • 13:24 not getting very much done today. anyone got a rocket? i need to stick it up my arse to get me working. #
  • 13:32 @ladlem Ow! #
  • 14:12 It is freezing outside. Very very cold indeed. #
  • 14:28 trying to write a blog entry. Not getting very far. Need to get back into the swing of things. #
  • 16:36 Not had a great day today. Very... bitty. Not got an awful lot done. Must be the weather. Better luck next day. #
  • 17:18 On the Blog : A Personal History - Part one. #
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Wednesday, 29 October 2008

A Personal History - Part one.

Going back to Swansea this weekend left me with some very mixed feelings. Yeah, Swansea was where Mrs Nobbs and I met and fell in love so it was special to go back together with Junior and see all the places we remembered from those days (even if most of them have changed a lot with all the development money being spent in the city). But at the same time, I was apprehensive. You see, Swansea is the home town of the first woman who was going to be Mrs Nobbs. I woman I was deeply in love with for three years, and who then tore my heart from my chest, ripped my soul apart and left a gaping wound that took a very long time to heal.

So going back to Swansea will always, for me, carry that memory of her. It will always be hard. Still, this time around it was easier than the past couple of times we've been. I guess that before I was always scared I was going to run into her and not know how I'd react. Okay, so it's not very likely I would see her on the street in a city of 250,000, but that's not the point. Maybe I was just not sure I was comfortable with how my life had turned out. I didn't want to bump into her in Marks & Spencer. But this time, it didn't matter if I did. You see, this time, I was going back as a devoted husband and father. Had I met her on the street, I'd have been able to say, "Hi, here's my wife, and I love her. Here's my son and I'm proud of him. I have a great job, nice car, comfortable home," and it wouldn't matter how she was doing--if she was doing better than me or not. I'm happy and that's what counts. It's taken me a long time to realise that, but I do.

Now, as you may know, I'm a writer. And how do writers heal? They write, that's how. Okay, so I don't really need to heal so I don't really need write this now, but it might do me some good in any case. Exorcise a few demons, so to speak. So here goes. Here's a slice of my very personal history.

I was nineteen when I met Alyson. (Yes, that is her real name). Actually, that's not strictly true. I was eighteen. We first met on the first night we spent at university in Aberystwyth together back in October of that year, but it wasn't until the following spring that we became friendly.

That first year, we lived in what you'd describe as a traditional university hall of residence. Four floors, 20 rooms or so each floor, shared bathroom and kitchen. I was on the all male ground floor. She was on the mixed sex third floor. With our floor being all boys, we stuck together. The Ground Floor Lads and all that. Drinking too much, etc. The girls 'up top' were much more refined and didn't really mix with the likes of us.

I remember that me and two friends were considering standing for the hall of residence student committee for the following year. It would save us the bother of looking for accommodation, but it came with the responsibility of looking after the new students. Alyson and three of her friends were standing too. Up to that point we (that is, the two sets of friends) had operated in our own separate circles but this potential standing against each other for the committee positions, and our eventual stepping aside in their favour, sort of brought us together a bit.

I must admit that Alyson caught my eye. But I was young and inexperienced (read "virgin") and didn't really know how to make a move. Looking back, she was interested in me too, but was too shy to do anything about it either. There were a few nights where we watched videos together--but never really alone. There was always someone about.

I remember one night in particular, the night before the May Ball, when we were in my room watching some movie. It's not really important which one. I wasn't really watching it to be honest. I was just hoping that our friend would get tired and leave, or visit the bathroom, or something, anything, just leave so that I could try and kiss Alyson. Of course, when he did leave, someone else arrived, so I never did get to kiss her. Or even ask her to go to the ball with me. Not just with me as in both going at the same time but 'with me' as my date.

Instead, it was left up to my good friend, Chris. Not one of the friends who I was going to stand for committee with, but a different one. Chris was a ladies man. And he'd been able to mix with the girls 'up top' before the rest of us Ground Floor Lads. So while my friendship with Alyson was still in its early stages, he knew her quite well. He also knew we fancied each other but were too shy to say so (to each other. We'd both told him, obviously. He wasn't psychic or anything. Psychotic maybe but that's a different story).

The Ground Floor posse were all dressed up in our tuxes and ready for the off on the night of the ball. Some of the girls joined us, but two were late. Alyson and her best friend. Chris suggested that the others go on without us and secure tables, get the first round in, etc, while he and I went up to see what the hold up was. Actually, it was a plot between Chris and Alyson's friend to get Alyson and I go accompany each other down to the Ball. At the ball itself... well, you get the idea. I used that night for the basis of an older story of mine--only I took the story a bit further because Alyson and I never actually did anything that night if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the next day I was going back home to watch the last football match of the season with my Dad and an ex-girlfriend, which didn't go down too well and left us in a 'well, are we an item now or not' sort of situation. To cut a long story short, when I got back from the footy, we decided we were.


Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Isn't it Always the way?

Isn't it always the way that when you've got tons and tons you want to blog about, you can't find the time to write an entry?
Since last Wednesday, I've had no time at all to write for my blog, or for anything else for that matter. Which is a shame because I'd have loved to have been able to talk about the amount of money that Sarah Palin was spending on clothes (actually, I'd love to spend the amount of money that Sarah Palin does on clothes). And then there were things in my 'real' life that would have made good entries too. But it wasn't to be. Work and family took up all my time. Oh well. Maybe I'll be free to write a bit more this week.
This weekend, I went away with my little family--my wife and son. We went to Swansea, on the south Wales coast, which is where Mrs Nobbs and I met some 11 years ago. It was odd going back there after all these years away. The city has changed in so many ways with tons of development going on along the waterfront and in the entertainment district.
But then, we've changed a lot too. From young kids in love to a committed married couple with a little boy.
Anyway. This is just a late night post to say hi, and deny all the rumors that I've fallen off the face of the planet. I haven't. Sorry to disappoint those of you who'd been celebrating early.
I've got a few very personal posts I'd like to make over the next few days. So here's hoping I'll be able to find the time.

Friday, 24 October 2008

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 09:09 It's my rithday and i'll get old if I want to, get old if I want to, get old if I want to. You wuold get old, if it happened to you! #
  • 09:09 Woudl you still need me, would you still feed me, when I'm 34! #
  • 09:10 I'm on a half day today, so i'll be gone when most of you get up. #
  • 09:12 Why, when I tweet, do I not check for typos before hitting send? #
  • 09:13 now I'm old, can I have 'one password for everything'? My memory wasn't what it once was. #
  • 09:14 @inkserotica Thanks! #
  • 09:44 @RhiannonLeith I'm always hanging upside down in trees. #
  • 09:47 @ladlem Thanks. Still feel old though. #
  • 10:38 Done loads today - but shouldn't I be kicking back doing nothing, after all, it is my b-day. #
  • 10:39 Does an orange kit-kat count to wards my 5-a-day? #
  • 11:38 @chrisredding thanks! #
  • 11:59 Okay, I'm off for a half day hol with my son now. might text in a few tweets if I can be bothered. see ya. #
  • 12:19 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 13:53 Just had a kfc for lunch. Yum. #
  • 16:24 My son is watching 101 dalmations. I'm washing up. Who's birthday is it again? #
  • 16:55 going to do a little editing. #
  • 17:11 @KiraSonneNM Got to love the voice acting in 101. So damn British. Shame none of us actually talk like that. But so much fun. #
  • 17:18 @KiraSonneNM lolololololololol Cheers mate. #
  • 17:26 So, which is the best Disney animation of all time? For me, it's still "The Lion King". what do you all think? #
  • 17:36 @Sonja_Foust Aladin's good. Mermaid's not me. Still prefer "The Lion King" #
  • 17:37 @imogenhowson Okay. You got me. That one is good. #
  • 17:38 @jmsnyder23 Not seen "T.P" Is that the one with Micheal J. Fox? #
  • 17:45 @imogenhowson Who needs dresses when you can sing "Just can't wait to be king?" #
  • 17:46 @jmsnyder23 So Atlantis is the one with MJ Fox? I'm confused. But that's nothing new. Wikipiedia calls. #
  • 17:47 @jmsnyder23 Disney made a decent sequel? I'm shocked. Mind you, Toy Story 2 is sort of Disney (okay, It's Pixar) and that rocks! #
  • 17:48 Just giving Jr a bath. I'm soaking now. #
  • 17:50 @jmsnyder23 My Boss used that exact quote to me the other day. So that's where he got it from. #
  • 17:51 @imogenhowson But Lion King has Scar and Whoopi Goldberg. #
  • 17:54 Well folks. Signing off to go cook tea. Who's birthday is it agian? Doesn't feel like mine. #
  • 18:04 @imogenhowson The prince ha BAD Hair. But I suppose we shuould have guessed that as the beast did too. #
  • 18:06 I know I said I was signing off. But hey ho. I can do two things at once. Three is you count watching the news. #
  • 18:09 @KateRothwell I share my birthday with my wife! She's about six hours older. Does that make me a toy-boy? At least I won't forget. #
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Thursday, 23 October 2008

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:38 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 09:02 So much to do today. Payroll. Budget adjustments, invoices to pay. Best get on with it. But need a cuppa first. #
  • 10:33 Productive morning so far. Now on to payroll. #
  • 10:33 I was once asked what would happen if I "forgot" to do payroll. Would I get the sack? #
  • 10:34 My answer - there'd be no need to sack me - all the staff will have already had me hung, drawn and quartered. #
  • 11:55 Busy old morning. Waiting on hearing from one person to complete payroll. Already adjusted the budget. Lunch next, then bills. #
  • 13:16 Lunch over - back to work. #
  • 13:17 Or I might sneak in a half hours writing instead. Maybe. #
  • 15:07 not tweeting much today. Too much 'real' work to do. ;-( #
  • 15:10 Interesting. I 'tagged' my blog post yesterday with "US election" etc, and it got double the usual number of hits. #
  • 16:00 have done loads today. need a good rest tonight. #
  • 16:05 cana tin of soup which is out of date by 6 months be described as "antique" and sold on e-bay? #
  • 16:06 mini-mars bar or mini-twix? Can't make up my mind. #
  • 16:19 @GraywolfPress Had one of each in the end. Hardly a mouthful each. #
  • 16:20 @emily83176 Lunch is over? I'm going home in less than an hour! Woopee! #
  • 16:21 @emily83176 what can I say. I've got a big mouth and a lot to say. just not much of any importance. #
  • 16:24 From my WIP - S"he's been a good friend since… you know…" "Yeah. I know. But not too good I hope." What can she mean? lol #
  • 16:48 @emily83176 You can go home when you've been at work for 8 hours and not a moment sooner. #
  • 17:02 @emily83176 Ah, me and whips - bad combination. lol #
  • 17:02 well, that's me done for the day. I'm off home. #
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Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:36 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 09:09 It's 9.08. It's Tuesday. And I'm ready to ..... No, I just couldnt' be bothered to be happy and chipper. I'll be miserable instead, Grr. #
  • 10:36 @KiraSonneNM I always have fun. even when I'm... #
  • 10:37 Half the morning has gone already and I didn't even notice. I must have been 'busy'. #
  • 11:03 @KiraSonneNM I'll leave it to your imagination. #
  • 11:36 nearly lunchtime and don't i know it. I'm starving. Might go for chips today. #
  • 11:44 @ladlem what's up? Or shold I say, who's upset ya? #
  • 11:53 Just watched the Purple Rain perfromance from this weekends x-Factor again. The girl Ruth is awesome. #
  • 13:50 Is it just me, or is there a rush of tweets when those of you in america wake up? Is it all the coffee? #
  • 14:09 Free Flash stories Volume 1 - (pdf) #
  • 14:09 ALL my free stories #
  • 14:39 On the Blog : Joking Aside #
  • 14:39 my afternoon so far - Printer jams and holiday entitlements. bugger #
  • 16:10 I haven't enjoyed this afternoon. not at all. Gald it's nearly over. #
  • 16:10 @chrisredding That's good. I was starting to think I was going mad #
  • 17:07 Why does MySpace fear nipples? i'll leave you with that thought until tomorrow. Byes. #
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Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Joking Aside

All those who know me, know I like a joke. They know I have, in the past, said things like such as "If I got in power, the first thing I'd do is get rid of this Democracy business" and "The reason Democracy doesn't work is that it puts power the hands of the stupid people".

But the truth is that I'm really do believe that, while it is flawed, Democracy is the best system we as a species have come up with. I am proud to live in a democratic country. Proud that my countrymen fought and died to ensure that I have the vote and (relatively) free speech some 60 years after the last world war.

I am proud to say that, at approaching 34 years old, I have voted in every single election that I have been eligible for since turning 18 - including 3 general elections (I missed out on the '92 election by six months), local and European elections.

You see, because I'm proud that my countrymen fought to maintain our democracy when it was threatened, I now believe that it is my duty to have my say. Yeah, sure, our "first past the post" system means that my vote hasn't really counted very much the last three times we elected a government for the simple reason my personal views were at odds to the majority of the rest of the constituency. But the point is that I had my say.

And while I accept that part of democracy is that the right to not vote is as important as the right to vote - not voting is not something I'll ever understand. Even if you don't like any of the candidates, go along and spoil your ballot paper. Write "None of the above" on the bottom if you like. But I believe you must get off your arse and go to the polling station.

And so, to my point. We are exactly two weeks away from possibly the most important of all democratic elections. I really do wish I had a say in who will win the most powerful elected office on this planet. (Yes, I am British, but even I accept that The President of the United States is the most powerful man in the world) But the fact is, I don't.

So, this is a plea from one Brit to every US citizen who reads this. Vote. Get up of the sofa, go to the polling station and mark an 'x' on the paper, or punch a hole, or press the screen, or whatever it is they do in your neck of the woods. Just vote.

I don't even care who you vote for. Well, I do. I have an opinion. It's just not my place to tell you who to vote for. It's not anyone's place to tell you who to vote for. That, my friends, is the beauty of democracy - you have to make your own mind up. You have the right to make your own mind up. Your countrymen fought for that right.

So, on the 4th of November, whatever you do, and whoever you vote for. Just go out and Vote.

Just Vote.

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:28 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 09:37 been at my desk for 30 mins - just dealing with e-mails so far. Still loads to go. #
  • 10:19 it was week 2 of X-factor this weekend. Love Ruth. #
  • 10:19 Austin wa great too. #
  • 10:20 And who doesn't adore tiny, adorable little Diana? I know I do. #
  • 10:37 I am famished this morning. Time for chocolate me thinks. #
  • 10:38 watched a great couple of shows on kids TV in the 80s and 90s at the weekend. Brought back memories. love Danger Mouse! #
  • 11:25 I really like this twitter thing, but it is easy to miss replies to your tweets, then you feel guilty for not replying to the reply #
  • 13:14 I can't beleive it's nearly payday again. More work for me. #
  • 13:35 On the Blog : It's Monday Again #
  • 13:39 Free Stroy - Sophie - (pdf) "Oh James, don't you dare stop. God, that feels so good." #
  • 13:53 "I need a hug," were the last words Beth typed before signing off for the night. "Chralotte's Secret" - #
  • 13:54 Charlotte's got a secret- in fact she's got several. But she's not the only one hiding things - #
  • 14:12 It's only half two and I'm starting to flag. The weekend should be three days not two. #
  • 14:40 Free Story - Claire - (pdf) The funny thing about time is the way it affects the memory. Distorts it. #
  • 14:53 @thiswomanswork Don't you need sun for solar panels to work? #
  • 15:08 @thiswomanswork I can't remember the last time the sun shone here in Blighty. No wait - it was a Wednesday. I'm sure it was. #
  • 15:14 @thiswomanswork You've not heard my accent - I'm from Brum. I sound like a speeded up Ozzy Osbourne. #
  • 15:24 @thiswomanswork Well in that case - I'm Mr. Sophistication. Judge for your self I start ranting 4m45s into this vid. #
  • 15:25 Is it time to go home yet? #
  • 15:25 Time for a cuppa me thinks. #
  • 15:39 I'm editing chapter 44 of 52. Nearly done and ready for submission. woo woo. #
  • 15:39 Did I just say "Woo Woo"? I really must be getting past it. #
  • 16:26 @thiswomanswork It's not my fault. You got to admit - he was a really bad driver. #
  • 16:30 Just got my Royalties for Apr, Jun, Jul. Me a happy bunny. #
  • 16:37 I noticed on the BBC news this morning when talking to David Cameron, Sian said "when you're in gvt" not "if you're in gvt" presumptuous? #
  • 16:48 On to chapter 45. 15 mins till quitting time. can i make it? or do i stay an extra five after the bell? (we don't actually have a bell mind) #
  • 16:56 It's five to five and getting dark outside. And the clocks go back on sunday. i think it might well be a bleak winter ahead. #
  • 17:01 I must say - it's good to see so many twitterers engaged with the electiom. Of course, I don't i have a vote. I'm British. But if i did .... #
  • 17:05 It's time to go home and cook the dinner, put Jr. to bed and be nice to the wife. See ya. #
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Monday, 20 October 2008

It's Monday Again

Yep, it's Monday again. The last Monday before the clocks go back, which is good because when I was forced out of bed this morning by Mrs Nobbs, it was still bloody dark. Sorry, but I much prefer getting up when it's light and driving home in the dark.

This weekend was week two of X-Factor 2008. Got to say there were 4 performances this week that I loved. Ruth, the Spanish fireball sexpot, should not have been in the bottom two in my opinion. Damn, she's good. She in the over 25's category, so even though I don't know if she's a mother or not, she is, for me, the very definition of a MILF. I've linked to all three of her performances so far below.

JLS are now the only group left and were always the only one who stood any chance. It was Michael Jackson week and they performed the perfect song for them. Great performance. They won't win, as a group never has, but I expect they'll make the final.

Austin's performance of a Chris Cornell arrangement of Bille Jean was outstanding and for me the best performance of the night by some way. That said, i don't think he'll win. I think the adorable little Diana has already got this year's contest sewn up, even with 10 acts out of twelve left. I wasn't sure after her performance of the U2 classic, With or Without You, but she's grown on me. There's something about her - I can't say what it is. She's like a little sister or something. You want to wrap her up and protect her - and she looks as if she needs it because she's so tiny and delicate you'd be scared she might break if the wind blew her over. But I think most people now agree that it's hers to lose. It'll take something special from one of the others to stop her.

Here are links to the performances on You Tube.

Diana - Week 1 - With or Without You

Diana - Week 2 - Man in the Mirror

Ruth - Week 1 - Take my Breath Away

Ruth - Week 2 - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

Ruth - Week 2 - Purple Rain

Austin - Week 2 - Bille Jean

JLS - Week 2 - The Way You Make Me Feel


Saturday, 18 October 2008

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:33 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 08:56 I could tell it was going to be cold this morning when Carol kirkwood had a scarf on as she did the BBC weather. #
  • 08:56 Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! #
  • 10:34 An hour and a half into the day and all that's happened is people have moaned at me. Plus, the milk was off so couldn't have a cuppa. ;-( #
  • 10:34 We've got fresh milk though now. So ;-) Might have some chocolate too. #
  • 11:28 busy, busy, busy today. lots of property transactions. Makes a change in the current market. #
  • 11:38 @CassieExline Go on. Say it. You know you want to. #
  • 11:54 @CassieExline Like that's ever stopped you before. #
  • 12:44 lunch over. Realyl should write a blog entry but can't find the time. been so much going on today but don't feel as if I've done anything. #
  • 14:20 There's a new sweet shop on the high street. Proper old shop with boiled sweet in jars. It's fab! Got Kola Cubes! #
  • 14:47 Loving my kola Cubes. I feel six years old.!!!!! #
  • 15:04 @tillygreene I know. It's great! Here come the sugar rush #
  • 15:19 Got that Friday afternoon feeling again. #
  • 16:24 I don't thinkI'll ever get used to reading tweets wishing my good morning as half past four in the afternoon. #
  • 17:02 @triciafields Good idea. Had one of those on Monday. Horrid #
  • 17:08 Why Kola Cubes are great. They are sweets in the shape of a cube - that taste of cola. nuff said. #
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Friday, 17 October 2008

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:31 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 08:52 I'm feeling a bit better this morning. If I can get my head down and concentrate on work, I might not even notice the sicky feeling #
  • 11:00 I'm getting loads done this morning. Feeling good. #
  • 11:00 I read an intereesting piece in the paper yesterday explaining the banking system. I might blog it in my own words. #
  • 12:37 Jailed for having sex on the beach. Ouch. #
  • 13:01 @Jambrea No. It's Thursday. Sorry. #
  • 13:20 There's a new old-fashioned sweet shop opened in town. Sweets in jars and all that stuff. I might go get some sherbert lemons. #
  • 13:21 got a meeting in half an hour. Oh Joy. #
  • 13:35 I'm up to chapter 42 of 50 in editing my WIP. Good going. sort of. #
  • 13:36 On the Blog : How Banks Work. Or Don't as the Case May Be. #
  • 15:55 Back from my meeting now. Lots of talk about money again. seems to be all we're talking about right now for some reason. #
  • 16:19 x=cut, c=copy, v=paste. Its not hard really, is it? #
  • 16:56 having trouble sending e-mails again this arvo. PITA. #
  • 17:00 Well, it's time to go go home now. Byess. #
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Thursday, 16 October 2008

How Banks Work. Or Don't as the Case May Be.

Okay, so this is my attempt to explain the way banks work and if you're not scared by the sheer stupidity of the system after reading this, you've obviously not understood. I read a similar examination to this (using actual money rather than apples - you'll see) yesterday. I'm just trying to point out quite how absurd it all is. So bear with me. Okay. Here goes.

Let's meet Alfie. Alfie is an apple farmer. He grows 10 apples a week. Each week, he pays his 2 workers, Bennie and Charlie, 2 apples each and puts 6 apples in the bank for safe keeping. Bennie and Charlie also put their apples in the bank. The bank, promises to pay back the apples, on demand, whenever anyone wants them. All good so far.

After 5 weeks, this is the situation. Alfie has 30 apples in the bank. Bennie and Charlie each have 10. A total of 50 apples. 10 grown each week for five weeks. All very good.

Now, Bennie decides he wants to but a house from Derek. The house will cost 20 apples, but Bennie only has 10. So the bank lends him 10 apples. He'll pay them back one apple a week for 20 weeks. That's a rate of 100% interest.

This is fine because the bank has 50 apples in their vault for safe keeping (30 from Alfie, and ten each from Charlie and Bennie). So they credit 10 apples to Bennie's account, which he withdraws along with his original 10 (leaving just 30 apples in the bank's vault) and pays to Derek. Derek then pays the money, I mean apples, into the bank.

At this point, there are still only fifty apples in the vault. But now the balances of each customer read :

Alfie : 30, Bennie : 0, Charlie : 10, Derek : 20. Which is a total of 60 apples, even though there are only 50 in the vault.

Bennie also owes the bank 10 apples, a debt which they count as an asset. Making the total value of apples in the system 70.

Because he paid 20 apples for it, Bennie considers his house to be worth 20 apples. But he wouldn't sell it for less than 25, so now there's 95 apples in the 'economy'.

The bank has no real mo... apples of it's own, just the 10 they are owed by Bennie.

Confused yet?

Next week, Alfie grows 10 more apples and pays Bennie and Charlie 2 each, and puts his six left over in the bank. Alfie and Charlie put their apples in the bank, but Bennie can only put one in the bank because he has to use the other to make a repayment to the bank in respect of the apples he borrowed to buy his house (worth 20 apples). Half of the apples goes towards his debt. The other half is kept by the bank. The balances are now :

Alfie : 36 apples, Bennie : 1 apple, Charlie : 12 apples, Derek : 20 apples, The Bank : 0.5 apples.

A total of 69.5 apples worth of value. But there are only 60 apples in the vault.

Bennie still owes the bank 9.5 apples. So the total value of apples in the system is 79.

And the 25 for his house makes it 104.

Now hang on - that's only nine apples more than last week, but we've grown a whole ten apples. Ah, yes - that's inflation. Ten apples last week are now only worth 9 this. Even though there's still ten of them. Clear? No, thought not.

And so it goes on. We can add interest paid to depositors by the bank at a rate of say, 0.05 apples for every ten in your balance. This is paid out of the bank's own money. Or rather, the money they kept when Bennie paid them back.

So the balances are now

A : 36.18, B : 1.05, C : 12.06, D : 20.1, The Bank : 0.11

Plus the 9.5 apple debt the bank has to its credit (and Bennie's debit) and the house worth 25 apples.

There are still 60 apples in the vault. So the bank can give Alfie back his apples if he wants them. And as long as he thinks this is the case, he'll leave them there thinking they are safe.  But if Aflie, Derek and Charlie all want their apples back - the bank doesn't have enough. This is called a "Run on the Bank". The bank runs out of apples and goes bust.

Now, imagine this happening over and over again. Someone borrows apples, so the total value of apples in the system goes up even though the actual number of apples stays the same. And as the apples get paid back, the total value of apples in the system decreases, and the balances in the accounts increase by more than was paid into them. But the apples that have been grown each week are worth less than the apples than were grown the previous week, despite it being the same number of apples.

Now, tell me. Is this a sensible system to base the world economy on? Well, have you got a better idea? If so, please mail it to ;

Gordon Brown, 10 Downing Street, London, England. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. (I'd suggest sending it to the guy in the big white building in Washington but I doubt he'd understand it. And besides, he's moving out soon so you'll only have to explain it to the new guy later on)

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:54 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 09:44 Nearly ten. I've been at it full tilt since I got in at 8.45. Had a migrane last night - can feel it coming back already. need nurofen. #
  • 11:00 I still feel rotton today. It feels like I've got a hangover - without the benefit of having been drunk in the first palce. #
  • 11:17 I think my might work on my WIP. I can't concentrate on work stuff - too much money invoived and I fel shit. #
  • 11:39 On the Blog : I Feel Like Death #
  • 11:48 @ladlem thanks. I'll try. I need something like a big mug of hot coccy to make me feel better. #
  • 15:48 I've not been tweeting much today. Still feel shit. Should go home really, but all I'll do then is wallow in self pity. #
  • 15:57 i just used the sentance "she was quite sexy for a rabbit" in normal conversation. Told you i wasn't feeling rght #
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Wednesday, 15 October 2008

I Feel Like Death

Sorry folks, but I'm just going to moan a bit this morning cause I feel like absolute shite. I went to bed early last night because I felt a migraine coming on - I got the lack of vision/spots all over the eyes thing. Then the headache started. Then the cold sweats and the constant itching. Then the sickly feeling.

Migraines really are horrible.

And this morning I feel as if I've got a hangover from hell - all without having sipped the slightest bit of beer/wine/spirits.

So I'm going to take it out on everyone around me for the rest of the day. Or longer if I don't start feeling well again soon. I can feel the flu coming on too.

I hate being unwell.

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:32 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 07:56 On Flickr Bradlaugh Fields, Northampton at Dusk.: marcnobbs posted a photo: #
  • 07:56 On Flickr Bradlaugh Fields, Northampton at Dusk.: marcnobbs posted a photo: #
  • 07:56 On Flickr Bradlaugh Fields, Northampton at Dusk.: marcnobbs posted a photo: #
  • 07:56 On Flickr Bradlaugh Fields, Northampton at Dusk.: marcnobbs posted a photo: #
  • 07:56 On Flickr image1: marcnobbs posted a photo: #
  • 08:51 AT my desk - ready to go. Going to achive a lot today. Or possibly not. We'll see. #
  • 10:32 On the Blog : Love Romances Cafe Interview Catch-up #
  • 11:10 @lissamatthews At least you HAVE been told why. It's better that than a simple "No, go away" with no explaination. #
  • 11:11 I was watching the new postman Pat with my son yesterday. You know, Pat is a rubbish postman - he keeps cocking it up! #
  • 11:12 What are we teaching our kids? That it's better to balls it up and then resuce it at the last min that do it right in the first place? #
  • 11:36 Just done a bunch of write offs. Why won't people pay thier bills? Or pay the right amount? It's annoying to have to write off a penny. #
  • 11:37 @lissamatthews Too bad. Still, at least you've been an indication of how to "fix" one of them. It'll be great and then they'll lap it up. #
  • 12:25 just been to the shop for some "snack items". It's cruel when they do 2-4-1. You feel like you have to buy the extra bag of chocolate. #
  • 15:15 Just had an hour long meeting with the boss. Very... what's the word. Unrepeatable, that's what. #
  • 17:03 just spent an hour looking at the budget for the rest of the year. trying to allocate fees to people and make it fit my schedule. not easy #
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Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Love Romances Cafe Interview Catch-up

On the Second Monday of every month, the yahoo chat group, Love Romances Cafe & More, host a Phaze author day. Due to various work stuff, I haven't been able to take part for a few months, but yesterday, I was. Typically, as well as all the banter between authors, the owner of the cafe, Dawn, posts a series of questions for the authors to answer. And, as a cheap and easy way to post a blog entry, here are my answers to yesterday's questions.

Why not start off telling the readers about the person behind the author name? What do you enjoy to recharge the muse?

Well, this weekend I went to look at caravans. I'm not normally that boring – honest. It's just that it might prove cheaper in the long run that staying in gites all the time.

Actually, writing is my way of recharging. Since it's a hobby rather than a full time career I use it to de-stress and get away from the real world –and let's face it, with the state of the world economy at the moment, it's good to be able to get away from the real world, don't you think?

I enjoy spending time with my little boy too. He's given my life meaning – not that it didn't have meaning before, it's just that now it's got a much more important meaning.

I also relish my drive from home to work and back again. I can turn the stereo up and sing along as I ease the car through those country bends. It was Elvis this morning. It's Oasis this evening. Bliss.

Now that we have settled in, why not discuss your latest release?

Ah. Yes. My last release was Lost & Found back in June. Since then I've been working on a new piece. At 87000 words (with just over half still to be edited for a 2nd and hopefully final draft) it's the longest piece I've written to date. And hopefully the best. I've been giving regular updates on my blog and there's a sneak peek of a scene I added last week here -

What is the biggest misconception about being an author?

That it's easy. It's not. It's damn hard work. But like anything that's hard, it's worthwhile and rewarding. A bit like my allotment – it's hard work getting stuff to grow, but it's worth it when it's in the pot.

When did you first decide you wanted to be an author?

When I was very little. I used to read all these books – I couldn't read enough as a kid – and knew I wanted to tell those stories too. My fiction always got be better marks in English lessons than for the other, more boring stuff – like trying to explain why Romeo and Juliette had such poor communication skills that they both wound up killing themselves. I tell you, it wouldn't happen today – unless one of them didn't know how to use predictive SMS texts that is.

Do you have any special rituals to help you get in the mood to write?

Yes. But I can't tell you about them, or I'd have to kill you.

How do you know what to name your books or the characters?

I don't always. Sometimes a name just 'feels' right, other times it doesn't and so it gets changed. I'm a bugger for changing character names part way through writing a story – which can be confusing where you're getting on in years like what I am. (Okay, so 34 isn't that old – it just feels it.)

Do you have any bad writing habits?

My worst habit is getting distracted and procrastinating. Some days I can sit with a WIP open on my laptop, but wind up watching re-runs of Red Dwarf on the On Demand service that comes with our cable TV. It's a bit sad really. I must have seen "poly morph" a hundred times and still nearly die laughing when Kryten starts humping Lister. I'm a sucker for Blackadder too.

If you had to write yourself as a heroine/hero, what kind of heroine/hero would you be? What would you be named?

Back when I was 17, a friend of mine and I wrote what you could call a 'satire' based on our school, the teachers and the students. Basically some of us had to save the world from invading aliens by capturing Edd the Duck (a puppet from kids TV in the mid-nineties) and using him to power an 'anti-cool' drive with which to repel the invading hordes.

It was full of 'in jokes' which only people we knew would find even remotely funny. My character was called MC Perfect – a global rap star in the Vanilla Ice mode (yeah, yeah, I know).

Look, we found it funny at the time, okay.

Seriously, most of my male leads have a big chunk of me in them. From Matt in Reunion, to Adam in my WIP, Kiss by a Rose. They all start out based on a little bit of me, or how I'd like to be. Then they grow and change and become people in their own right. Which is good – I think.

If you had to write yourself as a villain, what kind of villain would you be? What would you be named?

I'd be a Bond villain, trying to take over the world and kill the good guy. I mean, seriously, if you can't be Bond, best be a bond villain instead. Mind you, once I'd caught him, I think I'd just shoot him. I wouldn't bother with all these elaborate traps that give him just enough chance to escape.

What is the strangest source of writing inspiration you've ever had?

Er... Hum... Well... I really couldn't say. No, really, I couldn't. It's not something I've ever thought about to be honest and now my brain has seized when I try. Next question.

You come back from the dead as a spirit, what message are you trying to get across?

"I told you I was ill, but you didn't listen, did you?"

If you were a world ruler and you were given a choice of 3 laws to enact, what would they be?

Ohh, don't. Please don't. You couldn't hand me that much power, could you? Seriously, have you read my blog? I'd be too damn scary if I was in power. I mean, for a start, I'd get rid of this whole 'democracy' thing. It just gets in the way. And then...

 If your muse were to talk behind your back, what secrets would he/she tell?

Now, that's just a way of asking me to spill the beans, isn't it? See, I'm too clever for that. You don't fool me that easily. My secrets wouldn't be secrets if everyone knew them, now would they?

Read my blog/books. That's all I'll say. Remember when I said my male leads are all based on me a little bit? There secrets are my secrets.

There's a free story on my website called "Public Performance". Go read that, then look at my last sentence. That's all I'm saying.

 If you were a Superheroine/hero, would you wear tights and a cape?

Tights – Yes. I think I've got the legs for it, although I might need to respond to some spam to get a satisfactory bulge. Or possibly go around with a permanent semi.

Cape – No. Have you seen The Incredibles? As Edna said – No Capes!

You are told you have to meet one paranormal creature, no safeguards, what do you choose? What do you bring with you?

Does Buffy Summers count as a paranormal creature?

You have to ask a fictional character out on a date—who would you ask and what would you do together?

I think I'd ask out Bridget Jones. She strikes me as a bit dirty. So guess what we'd be doing together.

Of all the individuals you have created, do you have a particular favourite? What appeals to you the most about this character?

I've said this before, but it's The Colonel from Lost & Found. I think it's just that over the course of editing the story I looked more into his motivations and wrote some scenes that gave an insight into his state of mind. And as a result, he well and truly earned my respect. I think a lot of people will still despise him, and still think he's an idiot – but I think a lot of people will understand and sympathise with him too.

Has being published changed you at all?

Not really. At least, I hope not.

What makes a great book to you?

Two words. Plot. Character. Character without plot is just a lot of people standing around talking and I can get that at work. Plot without Character is uninteresting – we need to know, understand and care for the people involved before we give a damn about what's happening to them.

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:29 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 08:58 Monday morning. At my desk. Want to be in bed. #
  • 08:59 Elvis in the car this morning. Want to sing and go "uh, huh,uh" a lot. #
  • 09:04 25 e-mails in my "writing" in-box. bugger. don't want to know many are in my 'work' inbox #
  • 09:37 Just been given instructions on a matter - and it's all a bit... wrong. Will take a while to sort out. #
  • 11:02 can someone tell me how you can end up sending 10-15 text messages a day? I don't get it. Perhaps I'm just old. #
  • 11:03 I was editing Friday night and stopped mid-sentance. Now I need to pick it up again. Ouch. #
  • 11:58 It's lunch time. Think I'll do some editing as a break from all the work crap. Too many bills to pay. Too many! #
  • 13:24 I think those water bottles for the cooler are getting heavier. #
  • 13:31 On the Blog : Time to buy a Cardie #
  • 15:07 Two hours of the day left. Feel like I've done nothing again today. Need to get a shift on. #
  • 15:37 should I risk taking a look at my shares today? Do I really want to cry about how much thenot worth any more? #
  • 15:56 chatting at loveRomances cafe Yahoo group. Answering the question "would you cast yourself as a hero". Dur, yeah, of course I would. #
  • 16:10 New Q @ LRC. Which fitional character would you ask on a date. Er... all of them. #
  • 16:15 @LexValentine True. They asked about being a Villian too. oh, yeah, baby. let's be all evil and stuff (insert mad evil laugh here) #
  • 16:17 Done with chatting for a while. Back to some editing. #
  • 16:36 @LexValentine Bad guys are just plain fun. #
  • 16:37 Here's a random thought. What would I sing for my X-factor 'song to save you' if i got voted in the bottom 2? So many to chose from... #
  • 16:38 Of course, I'd need to get into the x-factor final 12 first. I'd like Danni as my mentor. I'd get to hug her a lot, which would be nice. #
  • 16:38 Wouldn't complain about hugging Chreyl either though. #
  • 16:39 @donnashepherd i think psychologists would have a field day with the randomness of my tweets. #
  • 17:09 Well, that's me done for the day. Might check in later tonight if I get the chance. #
  • 21:27 Settling down for some late night (well,it's half nine) editing. #
  • 21:44 Not written a word yet. Damn MySpace and your addictiveness! #
  • 22:07 Half watching the news while I edit. How did we end up in a situation where the business editor is the BBC's biggest star? #
  • 22:40 another chapter edited. Nearly time for bed - wonder if I can get one more done. #
  • 22:44 @CassieExline Hi you! I missed your B-Day. Sorry. And I'm off to bed now. I can hardly keep my eyes open. So Sorry again #
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Monday, 13 October 2008

Time to buy a Cardie

Yep, I'm officially past it. Officially too old to be Hip and Happening any more. The fact that I've just used the expression "Hip and Happening" is an indication in itself that I'm neither Hip nor Happening.

I know I do a lot of moaning about getting old, even though I've yet to hit 35 and I've got 30 years ahead of me before I can contemplate retirement, but this time I have good reason. This weekend, Mrs Nobbs and I went to look at caravans. Yep, caravans - those things Jeremy Clarkson likes to blow up. The scourge of narrow country roads the world over. And I actually found some of them to be... Quite Nice.

I actually said that to the salesman - "This one's quite nice. Do you think my Peugeot 407 saloon, 1.8 litre petrol engine would be able to tow it? It would. Oh, marvelous."

So, to go with the caravan, I now need to buy a cardigan, preferably a brown one, some reading glasses and some tartan zip-up booty slippers. Oh, and a pipe. And a rocking chair. i already know all the words to "My Way" so I'm covered on that front.

The X-factor live shows started this weekend, and another sign I'm getting old is that the skinny young blonde with the croaky voice, Diana, who everyone was raving about and saying how "contemporary" she was, I found to be quite annoying actually. I believe I said to Mrs Nobbs, "She should take some Strepsils for her throat. And why doesn't she keep her hands still?"

By the same token - I was as taken by Spanish stunner Ruth as Mr Cowell was. Her dress was very... Uplifting.

Last night, I had the urge to listen to Elvis on my way to work this morning so burned myself a CD so I could do just that. Now you don't do that if you're young and 'with it'. I should be listening to Fall Out Boy instead- whoever they are.

And if it's not Elvis or Oasis, then it's Radio 4 - which says I'm all grown-up and serious and want to know about World Affairs and stuff.

So, if you're in England or France over the next couple of years and a family in a gray 407 are towing a caravan in front of you with either Elvis or "If you're Happy and you Know it, Clap your hands" coming from the stereo system - It'll be me.

I apologise in advance.

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:30 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 08:52 Been in the office for 5 mins and already want to smack someone! #
  • 08:52 How annoying is this? You tell someone not do do something as it won't work. So they do it and tell you it didn't work! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! #
  • 08:53 Sometimes, I'd happily commit homicide. Twice. On the same person. #
  • 09:57 Can someone tell me how "The auto-download still won't work" can be taken to mean "The auto-download should now work"? I'm confused. #
  • 11:11 You have to read these - Very funny. #
  • 11:48 @lissamatthews True. It's like "don't push that big red button". You just know someone will. #
  • 13:10 Had Egg and Sausage sanine for lunch. Hands covered in Egg Yolk. lovely jubbly. Now for a nice cuppa. #
  • 13:32 On the Blog : Where's the Year Gone? #
  • 13:32 On the Blog : Economy Getting you down? #
  • 14:04 I've got the Friday afternoon "I don't wanna do nothing" feeling. #
  • 15:54 It's been a funny week this week. Lots done, but it feels like nothing done. I could do with a few days break #
  • 16:04 Watching the news last night. Sarh Palin was on at a rally in phio. Wife said "Who's She". Told her. She said, She's pretty. Id vote for her #
  • 16:05 So it's a good job we don't have a vote in the US election, Or i might have to restrain her. She's pretty, I'll for for her indeed. #
  • 16:43 Now editing chapter 36 of 50. have gone fro 79000 to 87000 words so far. Supposed to be triming the fat, but keep adding detail instead. #
  • 16:48 @angelajames No, go shopping naked. It'd be a 'talking point'. Imagine buying shoes naked. that'd freak out the sales assistant. #
  • 16:54 @angelajames Frog jammies? So you'll be needing green shoes to go with those, right? #
  • 17:06 @angelajames My son has some frog slippers. But I don't think they'd fit you. He's three. #
  • 17:07 @KateRothwell What's a 'genuine' muslim. Does that mean all the other muslims in the world are fake ones? #
  • 17:08 @jmsnyder23 I agree. I just hope I'm not getting carried away with the detail. #
  • 17:08 Off home now - here comes the weekend! #
  • 20:56 @KateRothwell And there was me thinking it was a typo. #
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Friday, 10 October 2008

Economy Getting you down?

Is the economy getting you down? Feeling stressed because you pension fund has eroded to nothing? Worried the bank will go under and you'll lose your life savings?

Well, never mind. But one of my books. It won't makes things better, but it will take your mind off it.


Where's the Year Gone?

It's October tenth. 10/10. One of those rare days when people from the US and Us won't get confused over the date. I'll never understand why the US insists on putting the month before the day. To me, it makes no sense. It's like putting the minutes before the hours. But it is odd that some dates will forever be American. For example, if someone from across the pond talked to me about 7/4, I might think they meant 7th of April, not, as they would mean, Independence day. And yet, on-one in this country will ever get 9/11 confused for 9th of November.

But anyway. My point is, where's the year gone? I've just completed the firm's half year accounts report to the directors, and it only seems like five seconds ago I was completing the last set of Year End reports. Is time going quicker because of my age? It's my birthday in a couple of weeks. I'll be 34. Again, it doesn't seem that long ago that I was all scared of turning 30. Next year I'll be thirty-five and my dream of playing premiership football and scoring the winning goal for England in the World Cup final will be well and truly over. Guess I'll have to aspire to manage instead. I'm quite good on Football Manager 2005, so I should qualify for the England job when the Italian bloke gets the sack.

Still, at least I got to thirty without being unmarried. Admittedly, it was only by a couple of months, but I didn't want to hit thirty a bachelor, and I didn't. Perhaps Bachelor isn't the right word - after all, we'd been living together for close on five years when we tired the knot.

I'm getting away from myself again. It's October. That means I'll soon be driving home in the dark and worrying about the fireworks going off and waking my little boy. Then I'll be pretending not to be in while all the little kids beg for sweets and the big kids demand cash just for dressing up in uninspiring costumes. (For some reason, British kids don't quite embrace the dress-up element of Trick or Treat like the Americans. It tends to be a plastic mask and threat to smash your car windows instead.)

And after that - Christmas and the nightmare of shopping for presents. Am I sounding like a miserable old git? I feel like one. I think I must had S.A.D. Or maybe I'm just being grumpy. Either way, I could do with a pint. Roll on home-time so I can stop off at the pub.

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 09:07 I've got an hour and a half meeting in half an hour. God I love my job #
  • 11:11 @ladlem I just like the idea of two girls kissing - But that's me all over really. #
  • 11:12 Back from the meeting. Very Dull. 50 mins to lunch. Need to procrastinate until then. #
  • 11:50 too much to do! Don't know where to start. think I need my lunch first. #
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Wednesday, 8 October 2008


Today, the House of Commons will debate an amendment to the Children's Act which will, if passed, outlaw the smacking of children by parents.

Now, let's leave aside the debate around the rights and wrongs of smacking which is so emotive that there can be no definitive answer and let us ask instead - Is this law workable?

I mean, honestly, are we going to end up in the future with a situation where a child reports his parents to the police for smacking him after he'd done something he shouldn't? Is this really the way for a civilised country to behave? For the state to interfere in such a way?

We already have parenting 'guidelines' which advise against smacking, and surly that should be enough. But no. We are now in a situation where, potentially, when I smack the back of my son's hand as he's about to put his hand in the fire (cause let's be honest, is there any other way to stop a 3 year old from putting his hand in the fire) to stop him from burning himself, I could possibly be prosecuted? Maybe even be sent to jail? Is that right?

Okay, so that's an extreme example, and I'm sure this 'law' is supposed to stop the heavy handed smacking of children by way of punishment, and not the short sharp, 'NO!' in the example above, but you just know that some finicky official somewhere in the country will stretch the law that little bit too far.

And what about the eleven year old who's parent's won't let him have that new Gameboy and so tells the police that Daddy smacked him. Will Daddy have to prove his innocence? Or will (as is supposed to happen) the authorities have to prove the smacking took place. I suspect this will be an example where 'innocent until proven guilty' will be forgotten and replaced with 'guilty until proven innocent'. Suddenly, are all parents going to be view with suspicion? Viewed as criminals until they prove they are not? If it's the child's word against the parent's, who do you believe?

Regardless on your views of smacking as a way of disciplining children, one has to concede that this is a bad law. It is an unworkable and an unenforceable law. At least, it is unenforceable without infringing on the fundamental rights that all of us are supposed to enjoy in this country. It is also unneeded, as I believe the laws to punish the systematic beating of children are already in place.

I hope that our lawmakers will see sense and reject his idea.

But I doubt they will.

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:31 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 08:47 Good morning world. At my desk 20 mins early today. It's not that I'm keen, just got woke early by the liitle monster, I mean boy. #
  • 09:46 Okay, so I've not finished editing it yet, but I've written a blurb for "Kissed by a Rose". My tag line is - Beware the Thorns. #
  • 10:58 My assistant is drinking hot chocolate. Smells lovely. #
  • 11:11 @CassieExline thanks! #
  • 13:59 Settling in for an afternoon of paying the bills. #
  • 14:34 On the Blog : The "E" Word #
  • 14:46 I want to go home. How long left? two hours, that's how long! Why do the afternoons drag so much? #
  • 15:06 still tons of stuff to do. But I want to write - think I can get away with anyone noticing? #
  • 16:01 editing away. another chapter down. On to the next. #
  • 17:13 two more chapters done and edited. Godd afternoon's work, if I sat so myself. Off home now. #
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Tuesday, 7 October 2008

The "E" Word

Yep, the Economy. Sorry, but with all the shit that's been going on, how can I not pass comment. And after yesterday's disaster on the stick markets, it's probably about time I did.

I'm 34 later this month and by then I'll have been in the workforce for a little over eleven years, having spent time at university and training to teach. It was about five months into Tony's New Britain and New Labour had inherited from the Old Tories the best economic conditions that I suspect any new government has ever had the good fortune to inherit. And, to their credit, they didn't stuff it up. For those of you not familiar with British political history, the pattern always seems to have been, Labour ruin the economy, the Tories fix, Labour ruin it again. This time around, Labour didn't ruin it. At least, not until now. It's taken them eleven years, which has to be some sort of record.


What I'm trying to say is that I'm currently experiencing Hard Times for the first time as a worker. And the job I do these days allows me a insight into the state of the economy that other jobs may not afford people. I'm not claiming to be a great economic sage or anything like that. All I'm saying is that I get an interesting view of what's going on and how it's affecting us all.

I work in the accounts department of a law firm. All the financial transactions come through me. A good proportion of our work is domestic convayancing. And in all honesty - it's almost all dried up. This time last year, or even two years ago, the job of sending and receiving money for the DC department was pretty much full time. It's not now. We're lucky if we get three or four transactions a week, let alone the four or five a day I was once used to.

I also get to see the financial health of the firm itself, and while things have been tough, we seem to be through the worst of it. At least, we all hope we are.

But the reality we are experiencing seems worlds away from all the panic and disasters in The City. I do worry about my pension - but not too much. I've got thirty years or more left yet, so there's loads of time for it to recover. And actually, it's a decent time to be buying into the plan - I'm getting more pension fund units for my money.

I'm not worried about my job, and I keep telling everyone else here that they shouldn't be either. We're a strong enough firm to survive. Still, they do worry when they hear about other firms in our area cutting back and letting people go.

And at the end of the day, it's those people we need to worry about. When Lehman Bros. collapsed, it wasn't the deal-making bankers we should have been worried about, it was all the support staff - the secretaries and tea ladies and cleaners.

Still, let's not get too depressed. I know I should be concentrating on the edits for the second draft, but now that I've finally decided on a title for my WIP, I've written a couple of taglines and a blurb. They are WIPs too, but I'm pleased with them so far.

Tagline 1

"Kissed by a Rose"

Beware the Thorns.

Tagline 2

"Kissed by a Rose"

His Power, His Pleasure, His Pain

Tagline 3

"Kissed by a Rose"

An Addiction he Can't Deny


Who'd have thought tears in the library could change your life? For Adam Smith it led to love. But when you girlfriend is the latest English Rose to grace the silver screen, life's not going to be easy. Hounded by the press, autograph hunters at every turn, she's his power, his pleasure and his pain. An addiction he can't deny. The more he gets, the stranger he feels. But a student and a superstar just don't mix. Do they? They're from two different worlds. Aren't they? And remember what the song says: Every Rose has its Thorn.

Will love conquer all? Is a kiss from a rose really so sweet? Or should Adam Beware the Thorns?

Tweets for Today

Tweet, Tweet, Here's a list of all my twitter postings in the last 24 hours.
  • 00:24 On the Blog : Tweets for Today #
  • 09:13 It's Monday - Welcome to the week. Morning Twitterers and Twitterettes #
  • 11:31 Jesh! Been a tough morning so far - non-stop. Looking forward to lunch. #
  • 11:31 There was frost on my car this morning. Time to get the thermals out me thinks. #
  • 13:39 I am soooo tired today. All I really want is to go home and have a very long afternoon nap. #
  • 13:39 afternoon naps - does this mean I'm getting old? #
  • 14:33 On the Blog : I'm certianly a "Putter-Inner" #
  • 15:29 @ladlem Thanks. I quite like it too. #
  • 16:09 It's nearly the end of a long, hard day. 1 hour left. Tasks for the day done. Might sneak in some writing time. Or might play on MySpace. #
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Monday, 6 October 2008

I'm certianly a "Putter-Inner"

As you may know if you've been reading this blog regularly, I'm currently ploughing my way through a second draft of the story which I'm now calling Kissed by a Rose. And as Mat said in response to an earlier post, I'm most certainly a putter-inner as opposed to a taker-outter.


Some writers write great reams of stuff during a first draft and then trim, trim, trim in subsequent drafts. They are 'taker-outters' cause they take stuff out. Other writers write fairly tight, almost sketchy first drafts, and then fill in the detail later. They are "putter-inners" as they put stuff in.

In actual fact, I'm a bit of both. Once upon a time, I wrote very verbose, very long-winded prose. And sometimes I still do. But, thanks mainly to the caning I used to get at the Fishtank, my writing is a lot tighter these days. So rather than my being a taker-outter  and worrying about using six words when three will do, I can concentrate on adding that all important detail. And that's what I'm doing. In a third draft, I may well become a taker-outter again, but for now, I'm stuffing in what I can, while I can.

And it's not just adding detail to what I've already got. I've actually added in a whole new chapter (well, scene actually) which slotted in nicely to what I had. Want to see it? Want a sneak peek? It's a bit rude. Well, it's very rude actually. So maybe I better not. i don't want to get kicked off the blog for being dirty.

Oh, all right then, you've persuaded me. Here's a new scene. Completely new. It fits into the story right after Chloe has performed fellatio on Adam for the very first time. Let's just say (in fact they do say) he's returning the favour.

(p.s. this is the scene that I was told is enough to scorch the panties off any girl. It's a bit rude. It's got bad language in it and people doing bad things to each other. Do not try this at home. Do not complain if you are subsequently offended - you'd had enough warning - just don't read it if you don't like the idea of people doing it. Okay. Are we clear? Good. On we go.)

When lectures had finished that afternoon, Adam and Chloe studied in the library for a couple of hours before picking up a take away and going back to her house. They sat on one of the sofas in the lounge and watched a movie while they ate. After they meal was finished, Chloe lay with her head in his lap until the movie ended.

"Mind if I watch the news?" he asked as the credits rolled.

"No, that's fine."

He reached for the remote control and switched to the rolling news channel. The first item was bad news. So was the second. By the third, Adam had picked up the remote and started channel hopping in search of something less depressing.

Chloe rubbed his leg. "Adam?"


"Do you remember earlier? When we were in your room?"

"You mean when you—"

"Yeah, then."

"How could I forget it?"

"Well… You said…"


"You said you were going to return the favour."

Adam didn't answer. He pretended to be watching the television. In truth, he didn't even know which channel was on.


He looked down at her with her head in his lap. She looked like a little girl asking for the sweets she'd promised for behaving while they visited relatives.

"Chloe, do you want me to go down on you?"

She grinned.

"Do you want me to lick your pussy and suck your clit?"

She nodded.

"Do you want me bring you to the brink of a mind-blowing orgasm with my fingers and tongue before sinking my dick into you?"

"Yes, please."


She sat up. "Here? Or Upstairs."

"Oh, here, I think." He slipped from the sofa to kneel on the floor and positioned Chloe so that her bottom was on the edge of the seat. He put his hands on her inner thighs and gently pushed her legs apart, forcing her skirt to ride up. He pushed it up to her waist so that it was out of the way, grabbed her knickers and peeled them down. They were already wet. He breathed in her scent. "Hmmm, you smell nice."


"Good enough to eat."

Chloe giggled. "Go on then."

"Not yet. There's no rush. Is there?" He lifted one leg and kissed the unsderside of her knee. He kissed all the way up her thigh until he could feel her heat on his cheek then he dropped the leg, picked up the other and treated it the same way.


She wiggled her hips. "Just get on with it."

He rubbed her thighs and bent his head to her crotch. The strength of her scent intensified and he inhaled it deeply. He kissed her pussy as he would her mouth—gently at first, just brushing her labia before forcing his tongue into her. She squealed. He slid his hands around her waist then up her sides. His thumbs traced the curve of her breasts. Her skin was soft and smooth and the heat she gave almost burned him. She held his head as he continued to kiss her. She caressed his shoulders, slid her fingers through his hair and made soft noises of pleasure deep in her throat. She gripped his head tighter.

Adam lapped at her like a cat at a saucer of cream. He flicked across her clit and she gasped. He cupped her buttocks and pulled her closer. She arched her back so that her hips lifted off the sofa and pushed her pussy into his face. He settled into a rhythmic lapping, between her lips and across her clit. The air was thick with her aroma and her taste filled his mouth. She held him tight, thrust against his mouth, and panted. Short, harsh gasps for breath that grew in intensity.

He gave her clitoris all his oral attention—licking, sucking and blowing. He ran a finger along her pussy, up and down, up and down. Then he found her entrance and pushed into her. First one finger, then two. He pleasured her on two fronts. Her breath was ragged. She muttered his name. She held him tight.

Then she screamed. A high-pitched scream that hurt his ears. The neighbours must have heard.

Her body tensed, shook and went limp. Her hands fell to her sides and she collapsed back onto the seat. She panted—gasping for air, trying to refill her lungs after holding her breath as her orgasm struck.

He lifted his head. "Was that what you had in mind?"

Her breathing had returned to normal. "Adam... oh, Adam... wow! I saw stars. I swear, I saw stars. And all the colours of the rainbow. Wow. I mean, wow! Seriously, Adam, you can do that to me any time you want. You will do it to me again, won't you? Say you will, I think I'll die if you don't." Adam was often astounded how she babbled. She did it after almost every orgasm. Great stings of words flooded from her like a raging torrent. Although, she rarely made this much sense—normally she was incompressible.

He climbed up her body until his face was level with hers and he looked into her eyes. "I think there was something else I promised you. Wasn't there?"

"I want you, Adam. Fuck me. Right now, right here. Fuck me like a whore. Don't be gentle. Pound me. Hammer me. Give me everything you've got."

He raised his eyebrows. "You sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Because if you're going to make me come like that again, you're going to have to." She held his stare. "And I want you to make me come like that again. Every day. Every single day."

He held his cock in position at her pussy entrance and pushed in slowly. But she grabbed his hips and pulled him all the way in. Just like every other time he'd entered her, she had her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open and her face flushed with colour. She was beautiful. He pulled out slowly and until only the head of his cock was inside her. He waited as long as he could before plunging forward slowly.

"Just fuck me. Don't tease, just fuck."

He pulled out again and immediately thrust back in hard. She grunted. "Again. Do it again."

He rammed her again and again, each time harder and quicker than the last until he settled into a rhythm, doing as she asked and giving her his all. She met every thrust and grunted and moaned. Her moans grew louder as Adam felt his orgasm building. He pounded her as hard and as fast as he could, just like she wanted. Her moans peaked in silent scream, her body tensed and shook again and she came again. She trembled beneath him, and he couldn't hold back. With a low grunt he came and collapsed on top of her.

"Ohh," she said. "I can feel that. I can feel you coming. I can feel you filling me. I can feel the heat spreading. I can feel you, Adam. And I like it. It feels... It feels right. Like it's supposed to be this way."

He lifted himself up so he could see her face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"What for? I love it, Adam. You came inside me and I love it."

"But you said... What was it? A baby could ruin your career. What if you get pregnant? What if I've ruined your career?"

"I'm not pregnant."

"How do you know? You could be."

"No I couldn't. I'm on the pill."

Adam frowned. "Since when?"

"Since I was about fourteen."

"Eh? But I thought...?"

"There are other reasons than sex for going on the pill."

"Like what?"

"Well, it regulates my periods and makes them less painful. Don't pull that face. You asked so I answered."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to tell me that."

"And you didn't have to ask." They both started laughing which forced Adam's wilting cock from her body. "Oh, sorry. Did that hurt."

"No, it's okay."

"Ohh. That's odd."

"What is?"

"I think I've sprung a leak." She put her hand to her crotch and wiped up some of the residue of their coupling. She stared at it on her fingers. "Look. Thousands of little yous."

"More like millions."

"Millions. My, you are potent." She licked her fingers clean and smiled.

He grinned back then pushed himself up and stood. "Come on, let's go to bed."

"But it's only eight. It's too early to go to sleep."

"Who said anything about sleeping?"


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