Monday, 28 September 2009

Guest Post – Remmy Duchene - “Women Writing Gay Love and other Stuff”

First, I'd like to say a very big thank you to Marc for letting me crash his blog for today. I am very, very honoured. And I promise not to set the joint on fire lol. I am Remmy Duchene and I write gay romance er erotica...well I write gay romance with a touch of erotica. I try to focus mostly on the love and emotions of the characters then toss in a little naughtiness.

Alot of you may know that I am also Tigra-Luna LeMar and I write both M/M and M/F erotica. Most of you also know that I am female. I have been asked why I began writing m/m romance/erotica in the first place and I always told them. I have gay friends who have had my back in all the m/f content I've written over the years. They have been there reading, critiquing, editing, laughing etc and one day one of them asked if I could write something for them. I started out with "All He Wants For Christmas" a very short love story. But that wasn't the only reason why I started, I started because I've read a few other m/m out of curiosity and found that most people write gay men as horny little perverts who would sleep with anything on two feet.

That bothered me because I know a lot of gay men and they are NOT like that. They hurt and fall in love just like heterosexuals do. They have the same hardships in relationships such as financial and emotional and after working at a centre for abused women and gay men, I know they have the same kinda of drama when it comes to abuse. So why shouldn't they have stories that show them as sexy, romantic, loving, funny people? I write a strange kind of Erotica for m/m. My stories, I hope, shows gay men in a way that give them new life. It shows them getting their heart broken. I don't write flaming gays I write gay men who are strong and know what they want in life. They fall in love and tease and be teased.

Now for the reason for this blog, the topic of women writing gay romance/erotica. I've been asked how can I, as a woman, write gay romance and it's really quite simple. After speaking to my gay friends about the dynamics of what goes where I simple put in the emotion that I, as a woman feel, in certain situations. Emotions are the same in humans, we all love, hurt, get angry, throw tantrums, fight, deal with loss, anguish - the are the same emotions. Now we handle them differently and I have to figure out how a man would handle said situation but that's about it. Love is love people, no matter who its toward.

If my heart is broken, I feel angry at first that someone would dare do that to me, then I feel sad that someone would dare do that to me, then depressed that someone would dare do that to me then eventually I get over it. If i feel particularly naughty I would go to a club where I know my ex-frequent and bring with me a rather HOT date and make the bastard jealous. That's the emotions I put into my men when I write m/m.

Someone asked me last weekend which of my men is the woman and I took offense to that. I didn't even know I took it so seriously but I was livid. Ok, as a woman, I know what a woman is - I know what she looks like, what body parts she has, what she feels when certain things happen to her and trust me, my men is not like that. When I write m/m I dont think which one of these guys is the woman. How offensive is that? I write two men - two men who love each other. Simple no? In a gay relationship there is no 'woman.'

Keep it in the Closet by Remmy DucheneAbout my writing. I have some short stories with different publishing houses. With Red Rose Publishing I have All He Wants For Christmas, Caribbean Heat. With Dreamspinner Press I have For Your Love, Hadrian (A part of the Sandals and Sodomy Anthology), The Caldwell Effect. I've self published (with Red Eclipse Writers) Keep It In The closet, Bad Santa. With Phaze I have Saddle Up N Ride! My Coming soon list is rather short - coming November to Loose Id is my first novella REDEMPTION. I just finished writing my second novella titled Cage Fighter's Salvation.

You can find me on the web at my website, my blog at, myspace and on facebook!

Thanks for stopping by and thanks to Marc of hosting me!

hugs and be blessed

Remmy Duchene

Don’t contradict yourself now

Ever since Charlotte’s Secret was released last year, I’ve said I’m happy with Phaze and wasn’t particularly interested in looking for an alternative publisher. As long as they are happy to publish my work, I’m happy to stay with them. But a respected fellow writer is a big advocate of ‘spreading yourself around’ and having ‘irons in more than one publishers fire’ so I thought I’d look through some of the submission guidelines for other publishers and one of them, I must admit, made me smile.

On page five of one publisher guidelines, in a bullet point section headed “Submission Tips from Editors”, is the following piece of advice.

  • Originality: not the same plot elements and character types I can find in a hundred books.

Which is, I think, a very good piece of advice and something I certainly strive for – after all, I’m “the man that get’s it”, right? I’m different. I stand out from the crowd. So, yeah, originality is pretty important to me.


Three pages later there are more ‘Tips’ this time from a named person, who I assume is either an author or an editor. It’s a numbered list and here are three of those tips.

  • (2) Strong heroines are a must.
  • (5) Don’t always write perfect heroines
  • (6) Heroes are always tall, masculinely handsome (never pretty), muscular, and well-endowed. It
    doesn’t matter who his heroine is…the hero is always yummy.

Now, lets ignore for a second that I’m not even sure that ‘maculinely’ is a real word (and is certainly one I’m having trouble wrapping my tongue around) can I just ask what happened to the plea for originality of a few pages earlier? How can you write something original if the guidelines are prescribing the type of hero and heroine to write?

That said, I don’t have too much of an issue with numbers (2) and (5). Strong yet vulnerable and not perfect heroines are certainly more interesting that the drop dead gorgeous supermodel of a heroine who never does anything wrong and always gets her way. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that they are something of a speciality of mine. Charlotte (Charlotte’s Secret), Beth (Lost & Found) and Chloe (Kissed by a Rose) are all strong attractive women with faults or fears that they have to overcome. Hell, even my first ‘proper’ romantic heroine, Kelly (Reunion), turns out that way.

But I would take issue with point (6) (big surprise there then). None of my heroes have been tall, handsome, muscular and well-endowed. (Okay, maybe well-endowed, although I don’t think I ever actually mention it) In fact, all of my heroes have been ‘ordinary’ men. Hell, in my next book, Eternally & Evermore, I’ve even described the hero, Will, as ‘slightly balding’ on more than one occasion. You see, it’s my belief that it’s a man’s actions that are important and not what he looks like. And haven’t women been saying the same about their gender for years? It’s my aim to make my readers fall in love with my heroes because they are the type of man they would want in their life and not because they are Brad Pitt clones with giant dicks.

Or perhaps I’m going about this Romance thing in the wrong way and I should conform to the accepted norms.

But anyway, those of you who know me will understand why I had to smile when I saw these particular guidelines calling for originality but then setting rules about the people you’re supposed to be original with. There’s nothing like a good contradiction.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Starting Something New

First of all, I’d like to thank Cassie for her excellent post last Friday. When  I decided I was going to open up this blog to guest posters I knew she would be the first.  She’s a star. To think, we first met back in June 2004. That’s like, five years ago. Shit, how time flies.

I’m still looking for guest bloggers by the way. If you’re interested, let me know and we’ll see how we can help each other.

Anyway, to other matters. Although I’m still working my way through the first draft of Eternally & Evermore to turn it into a second draft that I can actually submit, I’m also working on the next story. I may have mentioned it before but I’ll fill you in on it a bit more now. Of course, this is just the outline plan right now, and things are bound to change as I write it – that’s just what happens. It’s how I write.

As yet untitled, I’m referring to it as either Dylan (being the central character) or Milkwood (being the place he lives). It’s essentially a re-write of the very first novel I ever attempted to write. A novel I never finished. You can read the original version of the story on StoriesOnline where it’s called The College by the Sea. It ends rather abruptly though so be warned.

But don’t be fooled. Just like Eternally & Evermore was intended as a re-write of Reunion and turned out to be very, very different, I have already made changes to the planned plot and some of the characters that will mean this new book will be just as different from the original attempt as E&E is from Reunion.

The central character retains the same name – Dylan Thomas. And yes, that is deliberate. As is the fact he is from Swansea and that he is living in a university hall of residence called Milkwood. But his character and history will be altered.

We join Dylan as he arrives at Westmouth University as a fresher (or freshman, if you’re American) and settles into to his new home. I think this may prove to be a very ambitious story. The cast of characters will be the largest I have dealt with to this point and probably ever will deal with. And some of the characters will be the most complex and difficult to ‘get right’ that I’ve attempted – which is saying something given the fine lines I’ve had to walk with the likes of The Colonel from Lost & Found, Chloe from Kissed by a Rose and Amy from Eternally & Evermore.

At the start of the book, Dylan will have his heart broken by his girlfriend – who is attending a different university and dumps him by SMS message. The rest of the plot will be about Dylan’s search for the person who can put his heart back together – not realising until he’s about to lose her that he was looking in all the wrong places and she was actually there all along.

Maybe that could be a title – Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places.

I don’t know. Bit long. We’ll see.

This is all very cryptic right now because I’m loathe to give too much away too soon. I’m already seven chapters and ten thousand words into the story, so it’s going well. One thing I will say is that this story is set two years after the events of Kissed by a Rose and it could well be that Chloe Goodman, who’ll be in her final year at the university, could make a guest appearance at some point. At least, that’s the plan.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Guest Post – Please Welcome Cassie Exline

Hello, my name is Cassie Exline. I'd like to thank Marc for asking me to be his first guest. I'm honoured. In 2004, Marc and I met at Desdmona's FishTank, a critique group for writers of erotica. What's unique about the Tank is that the members are from all over the globe and at different stages in their writing career. Add to the mix different genders and there's bound to be explosions. lol But it's that interaction with peers and seeing what the other writers glean from your work that is priceless. Oh I'm not saying that my toes were never stepped on or I never got bent out of shape by some of the comments, but it taught me to step back and be more objective about my story (after anger management classes and they took away my baseball bat – lol).

What I learned from Marc and other members from the UK is there is a big difference in English. lol But what we from the United States don't realize is how authors from other countries have to work hard to blend with our way of writing stories. By “our” I mean publishing houses in the U.S. Nor did I consider that a male writer could have trouble fitting into the world of romance authors. Although I don't think Marc is having any trouble in that area. Don't get me started on the time difference, Lord have mercy.

But I do credit the Tank with helping me get my start and for my success in getting my work published. I think every author should participate in such a group. It's a valuable, valuable experience. And I still participate in the group. It'll always be home base for me.

Since then, I've had several stories published at Ruthie's Club, The Erotic Woman, Justus Roux, and the Erotic Bookworm. Also one of my stories is in one of the Coming Together anthologies at Phaze.

treeofburiedsecrets133x200My first ebook, Tree of Buried Secrets, published by Lyrical Press, had its start at the Tank. I worked hard on researching for that story, things from a widow's walk, Victorian mansions to apple trees and wine. Research is one of my favourite things to do, next to writing. Tree was also named Book of the Week at LASR and it came in #20 in a Preditors and Editors poll in the best contemporary romance category.

A dark night. A terrible tragedy. A buried secret.

On the night of her elopement, Julia witnesses a tragedy that spawns generations of secrets. For too long she's managed to remain silent. Only when Julia is unable to carry her burden any longer does she dare confess what she saw that one dark night decades ago…

Amber's Mysterious Death has just been released and is the first book of my new Sheryl Locke Holmes Mystery series available at Wild Child Publishing. Three more books of the series are also under contract: Ruby's Deadly Secret, Opal's Disappearance, and Dragon's Pearl. Each title features a gemstone which is also the name of a character. Whether the character is good or bad, lives or dies, well, you'll have to read the series to find the clues. Sheryl has excellent deductive skills and was born to be a cop, but her parents wanted her to take over the family antique business. With the help of Sheryl's best friend, Dot Watson, they've found a way to mix business with chills and thrills.


In Amber's Mysterious Death: Amber was Sheryl's and Dot's best friend in college. The three were inseparable. The game's afoot when Sheryl spots Amber's husband, Roger. The man had disappeared without a trace after Amber's death, leaving numerous unanswered questions. With the help of Dot, Sheryl follows Roger and a trail of amber jewellery which leads to duplicity, mayhem, and murder.

Ruby's Deadly Secret: While exploring Bridgeside, a Victorian mansion, Sheryl and Dot discover a diary, which reveals dark secrets about Sheryl's parents. Someone wants Sheryl dead, but who and why?

Opal's Disappearance: An old college friend begs Sheryl to help find her missing cousin, Opal, who may have been kidnapped by a mysterious mountain man. Sheryl concocts a dangerous plan when she offers herself as bait for the kidnapper.

Dragon's Pearl: Blood on the moon signifies death for some unlucky victim. A haunted music box and a ghost keep Sheryl and her cohorts on their toes.

Work In Progress: The Curse of Jade's Bluff. Logic dictates that a curse is ludicrous. But Sheryl is ready to throw logic out the window when a stalker manages to leave her threatening notes, dead flowers, and knows her every move, yet no one ever sees him. Sheryl wonders if she'll escape with her life this time.

Please visit my website and check out all of my releases. There are also free stories to read. I'm also on Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter.

Monday, 14 September 2009

Busy Boy

I’ve got a few irons in the fire I’d like to tell you about, just in case you might be interested.

First off, I’ve been asked to do an interview for Mistress Bella. I’m not sure when the interview will appear on her interview blog yet, but when I have a date, I’ll let you all know. Also for Mistress Bella, I’ll be appearing as a guest blogger on her Author Corner site. Again, I don’t have a date yet, but I’ll keep you informed on that one.

Finally for Mistress Bella, I'll be hosting an hour of her “Trick-or-Treat Bash” this coming October 31st. My hour will be 5-6 pm EST, which I think equates to 9-10pm GMT because of the clocks over here going back on October 25th. If I’m wrong then the slot will be 10-11pm UK time – but as we get closer to the date I’ll confirm exactly what the time it will be here in Blighty. After all, it wouldn’t do for me to turn up an hour late or early.

I’ve also been booked to appear at the Virtual Romance Book Tour Blog on October 3rd, where I’ll be talking about what it’s like to be a man in the woman’s world of romance writing. This will also lead to me hosting a guest blogger here on my blog and then guest blogging at another (as yet unknown) author’s blog.

Also, I’m chatting at the Love Romances Cafe Yahoo! group all day today, so look out for me there and say hi.

If anyone reading this fancies hosting me as a guest blogger on their blog, I’m always open to that, and I’ll naturally return the favour with a guest spot right here.

In writing terms, I’ve begun working on the second draft of Eternally & Evermore. I’m already twelve chapters in (out of currently 51) and I must say I’ve surprised myself just how little I have wanted to change. That either means I wrote it very well to begin with or I’m blind to what needs putting right. I don’t know which.

Don’t forget, you can keep up with my daily Tweets by following me on Twitter or subscribing to my Twitterchive blog. My stream features random thoughts throughout my working day, some bizarre twitpics, links to things around the internet, and several RSS feeds from blogs and other sources I find interesting.

Thursday, 10 September 2009

“A Man Who Gets It” or Intelligent Erotic Romance

Anyone who’s visited my website or looked at the signature of my e-mails will have noticed that for the past year or so I’ve been claiming to be “Turning Romance on its Head”. That’s been my strap line. I changed it from “The Known Unknown”. Why? Cause sometimes you need to freshen things up.

“The Known Unknown” was all right as an introduction strap line. It came, of course, from the famous Donald Rumsfeld speech in which he blabbered on about known knowns, known unknowns and unknown unknowns – confusing the hell out of everyone who heard him. For me, “The Known Unknown” was an acknowledgement that I was a relatively new kid on the block in terms of the erotic romance publishing world and that a lot of people wouldn’t know who I was or what I did.

Plus, it sounded sort of cool.

“Turning Romance on its Head” was born out of my belief that I was offering something different. Let’s face facts, romance and erotic romance is dominated by women. Women authors, women readers and women characters. You tend to find that the point of view character in romance and erotic romance novels is the female lead (or heroine, if you prefer). Except in the M/M genre, obviously. And the hero is often mysterious and the reader is never quite sure about them or what they are thinking or feeling.

On the other hand, Kissed by a Rose, which was the impending release when I took on the new line, was told entirely from the male lead’s (or hero’s) point of view. Indeed, in that book it is Chloe, the heroine, who is the mysterious one and the one the reader is never quite sure about. Adam, the hero, has his thoughts and feelings laid bare to the reader throughout.

I took the stereotype of the romance novel and turned it on its head. Not only that, but Adam is a different type of romantic hero too – almost the exact opposite of the stereotype.

So the strap line “Turning Romance on its Head” seemed appropriate. But now I think it’s time for a new strap line. My website is in need of a refresh and so it seems like a good time to affect the change. But what to change it to – that, my friends, is the question.

I’ve been invited to take part in the Romance and Erotic Book blog tour on October 3rd and I’ve already written my piece for it. I had the opportunity to write about anything I felt like so I wrote about being a man in a woman’s world. And in the piece I've hinted that I may switch the strap line to “A Man Who Gets It.” This is a reference to the review of Kissed by a Rose by Acquanetta Ferguson for the San Diego Examiner. In it she says…

Bottom line, this is a well written romance written by a man who gets it.

Also, “A Man Who Gets It” could be taken to mean… well, you know…

But then, yesterday, Juggleboy made a comment on my blog post in which he said…

Your writing is intelligent romance/erotica for a new generation of readers

Which flattered me somewhat. And I have to admit I like the sound of it. So how about a strap line along the lines of  “Intelligent Erotic Romance”? Or “Intelligent Romance for a New Generation”? Or something like “Intelligent. Sexy. Romantic.”

Lot’s of options then and I’ll admit, I’m torn and I really don’t know which I’ll go with. So any feedback you may have would be appreciated.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Flailing in the Wind

That’s just what I’ve been doing the past few weeks. Flitting from one pastime to the next, never really concentrating on one thing. Some days I’ll tweet like mad, others I’ll personally tweet nothing (although my twitterfeeds make it look like I’m still around). I might be playing video games with Jr one day and taking him for a bike ride the next. I’ve been all over the web looking at all sorts of sites. I’ve read a whole bunch of stuff, all of it as diverse as I think it could possibly be.

And I’ve avoided blogging, which is why I’ve provided a few excerpts from my books instead.

The whole point of this is to clear my head. I want my head free of clutter when I come to tackle the second draft of Eternally & Evermore before I submit it to Phaze. And I think I’m just about there. I think I’m just about ready to open the manuscript up and start hacking away at the fat and adding in those details.

I think.

All this flailing and flitting I’ve been doing has opened my eyes to a few things that I hadn’t really considered before. And it’s taken me odd routes to get there. Let me try and explain one of them.

I’ve read a couple of stories by a popular author on the SOL website who writes very, very sweet romances. Sickly sweet sometimes but they are nice to read nonetheless. (Damn I love my new Android phone that means I can finally read e-books on the go – not to mention get on the internet. I digress)

This particular author is very, very easy to read – which is perhaps why he’s so popular. But there is one thing he does which annoys the hell out of me as a reader. Not enough for me to stop reading – I’ve managed to blank myself out to it most of the time – but it’s still annoying. In his dialogue he has a habit of using bold characters to show which words the character speaking is putting emphasis on. Now, this annoys me for two reasons. First, emphasis should be shown with italics not bold, but that’s just formatting. Second, I’d like to think that I’m an intelligent enough reader to be able to work out how the character has said those words, and which words he is stressing, without the author shoving it down my throat. I’d like to think that the author can credit me and his other readers with that intelligence.

This, however, has forced me to look at my own writing. I like to think that I do credit my readers with a fair bit of intelligence and I’d like to think that ninety-nice percent of the time I can trust them to read a characters speech in the way I’m hearing the character say those words in my head as I write them. Only very rarely do I use italics to put stress on a particular word in a piece of dialogue – and then only when I think it’s too important to risk the reader getting the stress of the sentence wrong.

Then I thought about this attitude and considered that perhaps the author above is correct. Why? Consider this. Let’s say you gave two talented artists who paint in a similar style a piece of narrative to read describing a particular scene and then asked them draw a picture of the place the scene takes place in. What are the chances they will draw the exact same picture. Slim to none, I’d wager. The two drawings might be similar and I’d hope that the particular elements that the writer wrote about would all be in the correct place and look the same, but all the other details – the filler that the writer didn’t feel the need to describe – would be different in both pictures because the artist's minds would have filled in the details differently based on their own experiences.

And I’d be willing to also bet that if the original writer of the scene drew the same picture – the one that was in his head as he wrote – it would be different again.

So if this is true for scenery, why not dialogue? Can I possibly be right to assume that all readers will hear the words my characters are speaking in the same way that I am hearing them being spoken? Probably not. I only have to listen to Stephen Fry read the Harry Potter novels to know that he speaks the dialogue differently from how I hear it in my head when I read. And chances are it’s different to the way JKR hears the dialogue in her head too.

So maybe I should be showing where the emphasis in a sentence is more often when my characters speak because surely the way in which they speak affects the way in which the reader views them just as much as what they actually say.

Or maybe I shouldn’t. After all, I do like to think that I can credit my readers with enough intelligence to know the meaning behind what my characters say and so be able to work out for themselves how it's said. It’s a tricky one. I don’t think this winding path my thoughts have taken me down will affect the way I write – except maybe encourage me to describe the scenery in more detail – but it has been helpful to justify to myself what I am currently doing.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

A New Excerpt from “Kissed by a Rose”

Here’s the last of the excerpts from my Phaze publications. This one is from Kissed by a Rose and it’s an excerpt that’s never appeared on this blog before. Like the one from Lost & Found at the weekend, this is an Adults Only excerpt featuring graphic descriptions of sexual activities – so don’t read it if you are likely to be offended.

Kissed by a Rose is available Phaze Books, Fictionwise, All Romance e-books and other online book stores. It is also available for your Kindle or mobipocket device. In this excerpt, Chloe decides to enlist Adam's help in a home-made Porn Movie.



"Who'd have thought tears in the library could change your life? For Adam Smith it led to love. But when your girlfriend is the latest English Rose to grace the silver screen, life's not going to be easy. Hounded by the press, autograph hunters at every turn, she's his power, his pleasure and his pain. An addiction he can't deny. The more he gets, the stranger he feels.

But a student and a superstar just don't mix. Do they? They're from two different worlds. Aren't they?

And remember what the song says: Every Rose has its Thorn."


She opened the door and greeted him from behind a small video camera.

"What's that for?" he asked.

"I figured it was time we made our video. We probably won't get a chance over the next few weeks."

"You are joking, I hope."


"But… But… What if… You know. What if it gets stolen or something? Like what happened to Nikki Mount."

"But it won't. You don't actually think that someone broke into Nikki's house and stole the tape or DVD or whatever, do you? She leaked it. For the publicity. I don't know about you—well, actually I do because you wouldn't—but I don't plan to leak this. I don't want pictures of me getting my jollies all over the papers again, thank you very much. It was bad enough the first time."

Adam was still sceptical about the whole idea. "Where did you get the camera from? I thought you didn't have one?"

"It was Humphrey's idea. He wants me to do a daily video blog on YouTube. He says it's the closest we'll get to rubbing shoulders with the L.A. set. It's state of the art—uses a memory card instead of a tape so it's easier to transfer to the computer. At least, that's what the Humphrey says. He's a techno-geek. A bit like you, actually. I was sort of hoping…"

"You want me to help you post the blog?"

"Do you mind?"

"Of course not. Give it here then, let me have a gander." Chloe handed over the tiny camera. It was no bigger than his iPod and fit neatly into his palm. It was small enough to be unobtrusive even with the LCD screen folded out. "This is so cool."

"See—techno-geek." Chloe grinned. "So, how do we start?"

Adam gulped. "Erm… I suppose closing the door and getting out of the hallway would be a good move."


Not really meaning it, Adam said, "Sure. Why not every room in the house while we're at it?"

"That's a great idea. We could have a multi episode thing. Let's start in the kitchen. I've always wanted to do it in the kitchen—I don't know why we haven't before. I mean, it's not like it gets used for anything else, is it?"

"It thought it was our alcohol storage facility."

"Well, there is that." She took his hand, pulled him into the hall and slammed the front door shut. Then she winked and said, "Be sure to keep that camera rolling. It says we're got about an hour of storage on that card—that should be plenty."

"You're the boss."

"You better believe it, buster. Now train that lens on my arse."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Chloe led the way along the corridor, exaggerating the swing of her hips for the camera. Before she entered the kitchen, she turned and blew a kiss at Adam. Once inside, she pulled her T-shirt over her head.

"Hey, slow down," said Adam. "It's called a strip tease. Take it slowly. Tease the camera."

She threw the T-shirt on the floor. "The camera? Or you?"

Adam tried to keep the camera still as he shrugged. "Both I suppose. No! Leave your bra on for now. Take your skirt off instead. But do it slowly. That's it. Turn around. Oh yeah, Come on, baby—shake that booty for me. That's nice. Now, keep still—let's get a good look at that lovely tattoo of yours." Adam zoomed in on the butterfly inked onto Chloe's hip. He held the camera steady and reached out to stroke the tattoo. "I really like this—have I told you that?"

"Not since yesterday." Chloe wiggled her hips against his hand.

"You've got a nice arse too, you know. Very—" He grabbed a handful of her buttock. "—grabbable."

"Says you. I think it's a bit too big."

"Oh no, it's just the right size." He zoomed out and stepped back. "Okay. Let's get a good look at you. Do that whole posing thing."

"You mean this?" Chloe made a few exaggerated poses, holding each one for a few seconds, blowing kisses at the camera and then shifting to another.

"Man, that's hot. If the Academy members could see this—"

"They'd never vote for me. So it's a good job they never will. Now…" She turned her back to the camera and unclasped her bra. "Let's move things along shall we?"

"Fine by me. Get `em off. But just the bra for now. Let's get those lovely tits on film shall we?"

"You're really getting into this, aren't you?" Chloe giggled. "You know, I think I like it when you talk about me like that. It feels… I don't know. Dirty."

"Dirty? That's what you want is it? Okay, babes. I'll show you just how dirty I can get. Now, you do know the general plot of these gonzo flicks, don't you?"

"What flicks?"

"Gonzo. It's what they call this type of porn when the cameraman talks to the performer."

"Oh. No, I didn't know they had a plot. It's just fucking, mostly."

"It's dead simple," he said. "First, you get naked—we're well on the way with that one. Squeeze your tits for me, will you. That's it. Then you have to suck my cock. Then I lick your cunt—"

Chloe gasped. "I can't believe you said that!"

"Said what?"

"The `C'-word."

"You mean `Cunt'? I thought you wanted it dirty. It doesn't get much dirtier."

"Ohhh. So you want to lick my… my cunt?" She covered her mouth with her hand. "God, I'm a fucking dirty bitch." She giggled. "I like this talking dirty stuff."

"Of course I want to, I'd do it all day long you'd let me—"

"I might hold you to that one day."

"—but the point is that we have to do it as part of the plot."

"It's not really what I'd call a plot—more a sequence of events."

"Whatever. Are you going to let me finish? Or is this video going to turn into a debate on the relative merits of porno plots?"

Chloe stuck her tongue out at him and squeezed her breasts together.

"Thank you. The final act in our sequence of events is that we fuck in as many positions as we can manage before I blow my wad over your face."

"Do you have to? You know I'm not keen on that. It's all sticky. Can't we do a… what did you call it? A creampie instead?"

"Whatever—it's your movie."

"Yes. It is and I've decided to change the script." She turned her back on Adam and the camera and bent over to remove her underpants. Adam zoomed in on her pussy as soon as it was exposed. He had to zoom out again when Chloe lay down and parted her legs. She rubbed her clit, slipped a finger between her labia, and played with herself as Adam zoomed in for a close-up.

"Tongue! Here! Now!"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Adam tried to aim the camera as he licked Chloe's pussy. "Give me that," she said, taking the camera from him. "You're far better when you use twoooo—see what I mean. God, that's nice."

Adam used his tongue and fingers to bring Chloe to climax. He wasn't convinced that she'd done a good job of capturing his efforts for posterity—but he didn't much care. He was looking forward to the second act, and he'd make damn sure he got that on film.

"Okay, Sweets, give me the camera. You'll need both hands for your performance."

Chloe sat up and shook her head. "Oh no you don't, buster. You got to see me do a striptease—"

"It wasn't much of striptease, to be fair."

"I don't care. I stripped for you—you strip for me."

"No way! You don't expect me to dance around in my kegs do you?"

"No, not at all. I didn't ask you to go all Chippendales on me. Just get your kit off, nice and slow." She pointed the camera at him. "You can start with that shirt. One button at a time."

Adam felt like an idiot as he took his clothes off to Chloe's direction. Unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off wasn't too bad, but he was sure that no-one in the history of western civilisation had ever look dignified or sexy taking off their shoes and socks. Chloe instructed him to rip open his button fly as hard as he could. It was a good job the denim was tough or he might have ripped his jeans. Finally, he kicked the jeans off his ankles and stepped out of them. His erection was causing a sizable lump in his boxers. He hooked his thumbs into his waistband and prepared to pull them down over his cock.

"Wait!" said Chloe. "Let me." She stepped forward, the camera trained on his lumpy shorts, and reached out to grab his waistband. She pulled the elastic away from his body and pointed the camera inside. "Oh, well wouldn't you know. It fills up the whole screen. Mind you that's not the only thing it fills up."

She struggled to pull his boxers down with one hand while keeping the other steady. Adam held her hand holding the camera. "Here, let me take over now."

She slipped the camera into his hand and he kept it pointing at the action as she yanked down his shorts. She held his cock in one hand and rested the other on his thigh. Then she turned to face the camera. Adam moved it away to keep her in focus.

She glanced up at him and smiled her million dollar smile then looked back at the camera and, in her best interview voice, said, "Good afternoon, everyone. Do you know what we're going to learn today?" She paused, as if waiting for suggestions. "That's right! Today, we're going to learn all about Blowjobs."

Adam chuckled. "So we're doing an educational video now are we?"

Chloe nodded. "Yes. It's called The Goodman Guide to Great Sex."

"But I didn't do a commentary on my scene."

"Never mind, we'll just have to shoot it again, later. Not to worry, re-shooting a scene often happens on a movie set."

Adam couldn't help but laugh at her tone. She sounded like Dr. Banks on one of her condescending days.

She looked up at Adam and said seriously, "Do you mind, Mr. Smith. You're making your penis bounce and the camera shake."

Adam smirked. "Sorry, Miss Goodman."

"And so you should be, or I'll find another subject to demonstrate on." She winked at him and whispered, "You know I wouldn't really find anyone else, don't you?"

He nodded and whispered back, "Yes, but don't whisper things at me or you'll spoil the illusion for the viewers."

"We are the viewers. Or will be at any rate."

"Just get on with it."

Chloe faced the camera once more and resumed her professional tone. "Now, the first step to a truly exceptional blowjob is to ensure that the recipient's penis is good and hard. As you can see…" She squeezed Adam's cock tightly. "This one is quite ready. Rather than dive straight in, it's best to tease the penis first. Like this…" She delicately licked the tip of his knob. He shivered.

Chloe looked into the camera again. "I find that the most sensitive part of the penis is underneath the foreskin. Here…" She peeled back the loose skin that covered Adam's glans. The cockhead was dark red and shone in the kitchen's bright halogen spot-lights. Chloe raked a fingernail along the ridge at the base of the knob-end. Adam gasped. "That camera shake was caused by the reaction of my subject. Watch again. See, men are at your mercy in this position. Next, take the whole of this bell-end into your mouth and suck. Like so."

Chloe's soft, warm lips felt good around his knob. Adam closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of her tongue poking at his urethra opening, wiping away the pre-ejaculate that was seeping from it.

"All that's left now, is to take as much of the penis into one's mouth as is possible, and suck vigorously until the man climaxes. I'll show you."

She sucked him into her mouth until her nose brushed his pubic hair. Then she pulled part way back and dove forward again. From then on, she was relentless. Her head twisted as she moved back and forth. Her lips pressed tightly against his shaft and she sucked him. It was as if she was trying to extract his come as quickly and cleanly as she could. Adam recognised the tell-tale signs of his approaching release and tapped Chloe's shoulder with his free hand—the code they developed to warn her of what was imminent.

Chloe pulled away from him, but continued to wank him. "At this point, with your subject on the verge of orgasm, you have to decide if you are going to allow him to ejaculate in your mouth, or over your body. I'd recommend in the mouth, as even if one chooses not to swallow, it's easy to dispose—"

"Too late." Adam jerked his hips against her hand as he thin ribbons of come shot from the end of his cock and landed on Chloe's cheek, shoulder and breasts. "Aw, man. Chloe, that was awesome."

"And that," Chloe said to camera, "is the sort of praise you can expect for your efforts. That and a damn good shafting afterwards—but that's for another episode."


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