Thursday 28 May 2009

An Excerpt from “Kissed by a Rose” #KbaR

Release day is fast approaching. 1st June. To whet your appetite, here’s an excerpt from Kissed by a Rose. Enjoy.

“Oh yeah. Come on. Harder. Do me harder.” Chloe had taken to offering Adam encouragement and he had to admit that he liked it. He was almost there. Almost.

The phone on the bedside table rang.

“Who…? Who could that be?” he asked between the efforts of thrusting up into Chloe. She liked to be on top.

“Alarm Call,” she said, panting.

“But it’s—” He turned his head to look at the clock. “—only half six.”

“Yeah. I ordered it yesterday. It’s going to be a long day. We won’t get to do this again until tonight. So come on. Fuck me for fuck’s sake.” She put her hands on his chest and ground her pelvis against him, mashing her clit and driving herself towards another orgasm.

By seven-thirty they were at the Oxford Street store of world renowned French designer, Jacques Surmont. Adam had no trouble choosing a suit, shirt and tie from Jacques' large selection, but Chloe took nearly an hour to find the right dress. It was partly Jacques' fault as he kept giving her a genuine appraisal of how she looked in each dress. Adam thought she looked fantastic in everything.

After the fitting, they were rushed to a private photo studio. Adam had no idea what to expect, but he had hoped it would be more fun than it turned out to be. Aside from having to change costumes four times, the constant smiling made his cheeks hurt. By the time they'd finished and were taken for lunch, Adam understood why Chloe hated doing publicity. After lunch, he understood even better. He had to wait around while Chloe was interviewed by a string of people from magazines and newspapers, and while a series of short interviews were taped for television and radio. It was after five when they got back to the hotel. They found a light meal waiting for them. Jacques’ clothes were laid out on the bed. They ate quickly and showered together before a make-up artist and hairdresser arrived to attend to Chloe. This was one aspect of Chloe's life that Adam liked. He'd had people fussing over his appearance all day—even during the afternoon, just in case one of the interviewers wanted to talk to him to.

He had a quick haircut while Chloe was having her make-up fixed, then dressed. On Jacques' advice, he'd chosen a single-breasted black suit. It was a classic cut, except that it didn't have lapels or a collar. He'd also picked out a white silk shirt, plain black tie and patent black leather shoes. He admired himself in the mirror.

"Someone looks handsome. I knew you'd scrub up well." Adam winked at Chloe through the mirror and adjusted his tie. She was still sitting in the make-up chair.

"I can't believe he's letting me keep the threads," said Adam.

"Oh, they always do. You should hear the stories about the big Hollywood stars. The designers send them a whole wardrobe of dresses to choose from for awards season, and never get any of them back. I wouldn't do that to Jacques though, no matter how big of a star I became. He's been far too good to me in the past."

Even though she'd taken nearly an hour and tried on about twenty dresses at Jacques' shop, Chloe had settled on the first one she'd tried on—the one that Jacques had first suggested. He'd said he'd designed it with Chloe in mind. The dress was made of black silk and hung gently from her curves, stopping just above her knee—although at the back a tail of silk almost reached the floor. There were three spaghetti straps on each shoulder and it plunged to a deep 'v' at the front, revealing ample cleavage. A large white flower was embroidered on the right breast and a line of increasingly smaller flowers snaked a 's' shape down to the hem. She climbed into the dress and asked Adam to zip her up from behind. He willingly obliged, running his hands back down her body when he was finished. She turned to face him and put her arms around his neck. "Sorry, but no kisses for you. My lippy's still wet—you'll just have to wait."

She sat on the bed to put on her strappy heels, then stood. “Well? What do you think? Do I look good enough to meet the Queen?”

"Stunning," he said. "You scrub up even better than me. I do believe I'm the luckiest bloke in Britain."

She put a finger underneath his chin. "You better believe it, buster." She nodded towards the door. "Come on, we'd better go or we'll be late."

A white limousine waited for them outside the hotel. The driver held the door open as they climbed in and shut it behind them. "Now this I could get used to," Adam said. "More champagne?"

"Yeah. Want some?"

Adam nodded and Chloe poured two glasses. "Shame Leicester Square isn’t that far away," she said as the oversize car pulled out into the slowly moving traffic. "There are tons of things I've always wanted to do in the back of a limo but never had anyone to do them with."

"We could ask the driver to take the long way."

"I wish, but we don't really have the time. Besides, I can't go messing up my hair before I meet royalty."

They sat back and sipped champagne as the limo trudged through the congestion. Even at the lowly speeds they achieved, it still only took a short time to reach Leicester Square. The car stopped by the red carpet and the driver held the door open for them. A blinding flurry of flash bulbs went off as they stood by the car. There were cries of "Over here, Chloe!" from the press pack. Chloe held Adam's arm and through a smile she whispered, "Try and relax. Smile for the cameras, but don't wave. We're going to move over there and pose for a bit. Then I'll have to go and work the crowd."

"I hope you know what you're doing," Adam said out of the side of his mouth.

"Trust me. I've done this once or twice before."

It wasn't as bad as Adam expected. His cheeks hurt again after all the smiling, but when they crossed to the other side of the red carpet to meet some of the people in crowd, he quite enjoyed himself.

“Here mate, you’re a lucky bastard,” cried a voice in the crowd.

“I know,” Adam called back.

“Ditch him, Chloe,” said another voice. “I’ll make you happier.”

“Yeah,” said another voice, “and I’ve got a bigger cock.”

“I very much doubt that,” said Chloe. The crowd laughed.

“Chloe, your boyfriend’s a hunk.” This came from a pretty girl at the front of crowd. Adam guessed she was in her early teens. He was glad it was dark—hunks didn’t blush. “Can I get a photo of you two with me?” She held out her mobile phone to take the photo while Chloe and Adam stood either side of her.

An older girl further up the line called out, “Can I borrow you’re boyfriend sometime. He’s lush!”

Chloe held on tight to Adam’s arm, laughed and called back, “Not a chance in hell. He’s all mine, and I’m not about to share him.”

More people took photos and Chloe signed more autographs than Adam could count before a security guard ushered them into the picture house. They were directed to their seats by a man in an official looking uniform.

"Now," the official said. "When the royal party arrives, there will be a fanfare and you'll have to stand. They'll be in the Royal Box, up there. Do not sit down again until Her Majesty and His Highness are both seated."

"I do know," said Chloe. "I've been to one of these before."

"Yes, but I assume your gentleman friend hasn't.” He gave Adam a rather disdainful look. Adam guessed he’d seen the pictures in the Daily Echo and knew who he thought was to blame for leading England’s Rose astray. “After the feature ends, everyone will stand as Her Majesty leaves the room. You two and the others in the line-up will have to hurry to get to the foyer before they do. They'll be held back until you're all ready, but it doesn't do to keep Her Majesty waiting. When she reaches you, smile, shake her hand and answer her questions. A simple nod of the head will suffice for a bow. Refer to her as Your Majesty or Ma'am. Nothing else. The prince should be referred to as Your Highness or Sir. Do try not to detain them any longer than you have to. Is that clear? Can you remember all that?" His speech was directed squarely at Adam.

"I'm in the line-up?"

"His Royal Highness Prince Harold requested it. It seems he wants to meet the young man who stole Miss Goodman's heart from him."

Chloe leaned over and whispered, "The Prince has a crush on me. Has had for ages. It's a bit embarrassing, actually."

Adam was so nervous that the pomp of the Queen's entrance washed over him and the movie had started before he'd realised what had happened. He relaxed and enjoyed the show once the titles rolled, although Chloe appeared tense whenever she was on screen. She was in the film for the first three quarters of an hour—playing the part of teenage Kelly. She squeezed Adam's hand tightly throughout. When Tom Walker, playing the part of teenage Matt, waved goodbye before heading off to university, Adam sensed Chloe relax. She loosened her grip on his hand, leaned over and said, "I'm only in it once more. A flashback scene—unless they've cut it."

In Adam's opinion, Chloe's flashback scene was the best part of the whole film. Chloe's character was involved in a car accident while heavily pregnant and suffered a dramatic miscarriage. The scene ended on an emotional note, with Chloe's performance causing a tear to trickle down Adam's cheek.

"Are you crying?" Chloe whispered.

Adam shook his head. "Something in my eye."

"Isn't it funny how men get something in their eye at times like this? There must be a name for such a condition."

"It's called testosterone," he whispered before someone behind shushed them into silence for the rest of the film.

The movie ended on a high note and received a standing ovation. Someone at the front of the theatre called for 'three cheers for Her Majesty' before the Queen left the auditorium along with her grandson and the rest of her party. Adam, Chloe, the other actors, the director and the producers were escorted to the foyer where they would meet the monarch. Adam and Chloe were at the end of the line and it seemed to take the Queen hours to reach them.

The director, Bobby Everett, was conducting the introductions. "Chloe Goodman, your Majesty."

"Ah, yes. We've met before, haven't we?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Chloe gently shook the Queen's hand and curtsied.

"Although, you were much shorter then, as I recall."

"Well, it was nearly seven years ago, Your Majesty. I was twelve."

The Queen nodded. "Has it really been that long? My, how time does fly. You played a young witch at a magical school, didn't you?"

"That's right, Your Majesty. Sally Trotter."

"I remember thinking that you were destined for great things. How right I was. I thought yours was the best performance in this film. Very emotional. I very much enjoyed it."

"Thank you, your Majesty."

The Queen smiled and leaned in closer. "You know, Miss Goodman, my grandson does rather like you. Young Harold. I know it would make his evening if he could get a little kiss."

"Certainly, Your Majesty."

The Queen turned to Adam and before the director could introduce him, she said, "You must be the young man in the newspapers with Miss Goodman. I don't normally take much notice of the tabloids, but that edition somehow passed across my desk. I do feel sorry for you, to be thrust into the limelight like that. Still, it is a pleasure to meet you." She turned to her aide before Adam could reply, and was led out to the waiting car.

"Bloody hell," Adam whispered. "I can't believe she saw those pictures. Have I gone all red?"

"Just a bit," said Chloe. "Shush, here comes the prince."

"My dear, dear, Chloe," said Prince Harold, holding out his hand. "It's so good to see you again. It was a shame you couldn't come to my birthday party. Do I get a kiss?"

"Of course, Your Highness." She leant forward and kissed the young prince on the cheek. A barrage of flashes went off as the pressmen saw a bundle of money in their not too distant future.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Hal? All my friends do."

"A great many more, your Highness. If I were to call you that, I'd get severely told off and I think I've been in enough trouble the past few months."

"Yes, quite. They are bastards, aren't they, the press? I can't count the number of times that Daddy has had to stop some rag from printing an embarrassing photograph of me. I do wish they would just butt out. Still, it's all good fun." He turned to Adam. "And this must be the lucky chap. Good show, old boy. I must say, I wished I were in your shoes when I saw that paper. Tell me, is she as good as I dream that she is? As a girlfriend I mean, nothing unseemly, obviously." The prince winked as he shook Adam's hand.

"Your Highness, I can safely say that Chloe is the very best girlfriend I've ever had. Or could wish to have."

The prince laughed heartily. "That's what I thought. Well, you hang on to her and treat her well. You're a lucky chap." He addressed Chloe again. "And if it doesn't work out between you two, remember, my shoulder to cry on is just a telephone call away. Call the palace, they have a standing instruction to put you straight through. Enjoy the rest of your evening." He winked again and then joined his grandmother in the car. He was the last member of the party to leave and everyone in the line-up breathed a sigh of relief.

"My god," said Adam. "He's a dirty perv. I don't believe it."

"Oh, he was tame tonight," said Chloe. "He's normally a lot worse. That thing he said about his father stopping the photos—he's shown me some of them. Some of the stuff he gets up to would curl your hair. The public only know a small fraction of it. I guess it's the privilege that comes with being second in line to the throne."

“So what now?” Adam asked.

“We hang about outside for a while and sign some autographs and then the limo will take us to the party. You’ll get to meet a ton of stars—all of whom will be boring as anything, so we won’t stay long—and then it’s back to the hotel so you can fuck me silly.”

Kissed by a Rose will be available from the Phaze website from 1st June.

Sunday 24 May 2009

Carrie Jones interviews Jacques Surmont - #KbaR

Kissed by a RoseGood morning, I’m Carrie Jones and once again Mr Nobbs has loaned me his blog for the second in a series of interviews with the cast of his latest Erotic Romance novel Kissed by a Rose, which is released by Phaze books on 1st June.

The title of the book refers to Chloe Goodman, an English Rose in the classic cinematic tradition. And as we all know, every world famous English Rose has a favourite fashion designer. And Chloe’s favourite isn’t Stella McCartney or Christian Dior, but London based Frenchman, Jacques Surmount.

Today, I speak exclusively with Jacques about Chloe, his relationship with her and the dresses he’s designed for her.

Monsieur Surmont, Bonjour.

Bonjour, Carrie. Ca Va?

Er, Oui?

Bon. Allors.

Yeah, right. Well, Jacques… Can I call you Jacques?

Carrie, a beautiful woman like you ees calling me what ever she ees liking, non?

Jacques, How long have you known Chloe Goodman?

Oh, I am knowing Chloe from when she ees being very petite, non? I am meeting her father when I am first coming to London and he ees helping me to make zee business. Zees ees before Chloe ees being born, so I am knowing ‘er all ‘er life. Oui?

And when did you start making clothes for her?

I am first making ze dress for Chloe when she is being given ze award for being best at newcoming on zat soap when she ees having just six years.

You mean, “Neighbourhood”.

Oui. Zat ees what eet ees being called. Eet was une belle robe rose with lots of zee little frills.

Yes, I remember that. If memory serves, Chloe hates the photos of her in that frilly pink dress.

Oui, she ees. But zen, are not all women not liking photographs of zemselves when zey are little? I am thinking she ees looking like an angel, non? A perfect little angel.

How many outfits have you designed for Chloe over the years.

All of zem. Chloe is doing me a great ‘onour in saying zat no-one else will ever be making ze clothes for ‘er. Zis ees why I am ‘aving three dresses in zis book of Monsieur Nobbs. I am being zo very grateful.

Yes, tell us about the dresses.

Well, zee first is being for--

I don’t think we can say what it’s for – it will give away the plot.

You are being correct, of course, Carrie. Well, Zee first dress is making ‘er look zee beautiful young woman zat every man ees wanting. Eet ees soie noir-”

Black Silk.

Oui. Soie noir avec trois straps of spaghetti. Eet ees tres belle. Tres, tres belle.

And your said there were two other dresses.

Oui, but I am thinking zat you should be reading the book to find out about zem, non?

Fair enough. So tell me, did you enjoy being in the book.

Ah, oui. C’est bon. My business has been, ‘ow you say, booming as a result. People are all wanting me to make ze dresses for zem just like Chloe’s.

Well, thank you for your time Jacques. It’s been a pleasure. Next time, I’ll be talking to Chloe and Adam’s friends, Cassie and Eddie.

Read Carrie's interview with Laura Smith - Adam's Little sister.

Friday 22 May 2009

The Best Laid Plans… And life gets in the way #kbar

Does it ever. See, I had this whole big promotion push planned out in my head in respect of Kissed by a Rose. By now, I should have posted the second cast member interview, done a whole hell of a lot more tweeting of ‘great lines from the book’ and treated you all to a few more excerpts on my website and this blog.

Then Life went and got in the way and as far as I’ve got in to half write the second interview. Still, I’m not overly worried. I’ve got the whole of next week to promote since the book doesn’t come out until 1st June. And who says it all has to be pre-release promotion anyway? Wouldn’t it be better to leave the serious promotion push until people can actually buy the thing?

So, for those of you we had been looking forward to reading Carrie Jones’ interview with Jacques Surmont – as she promised at the end of the last interview – it’ll be up either this weekend, or early next week.

Unless Life gets in the way again.

Trendy? Me? You better believe it. - #bbcqt

Yesterday I spoke about BBC Question Time and how they’d moved it from it’s regular 10:35 slot to 9pm because of the anger in country surrounding the scandal of MP’s expenses. And, dutifully, I sat down at nine to watch, with my laptop on and twhirl open so I could follow the wider debate on Twitter via the #bbcqt tag.

The show wasn’t as much of a bloodbath as the previous week. The Salisbury audience were more sedate than the folks ‘up North’ had been. But they still laid into the panel in a way rarely seen on Question Time. One lady, who looked as though she’d missed her WI meeting to attend, tore several strips of Labour representative Ben Bradshaw.

The make-up of the panel was interesting and perhaps give an insight into how the parties have handled this furore. The Tories served up former leader and current foreign affairs spokesman, William Hague – who I thought was his usual, straight-talking self. The Lib-Dems gave us the brilliant Vince Cable – the one voice among many who predicted the economic mess we are now in. This is the man who should be Chancellor – or even PM.

In contrast, I’d not even heard of Labour’s Ben Bradshaw until last night. We won’t even mention the craziness of the UK Independence Party sending an Argentinean lady to represent them – I mean, they’d probably send her back across the Atlantic if they were ever in power.

What this tells me is that the Tories and Lib-Dems are much more confident that they’ve handled things as well as they thought they could, while the government are still running scared. Yes, the public are angry with all parties, but I think they, for the most part, appreciate that David Cameron and Nick Clegg have at least appeared as outraged as the rest of us and are talking the talk about cleaning things up. Whereas Brown has stayed very quiet until pushed.

There have been calls for a General Election as a result of the revelations. The public feel that our MPs are out of touch. And they have a point. Take Hazel Blears (please, someone take her). Did she for one second think that brandishing a cheque for £13000 to ‘pay back’ the Capital Gains Tax she should have paid but managed to avoid when she sold a house that WE THE PUBLIC had been paying the mortgage on, was a good idea? (Yes, I kid you not, MPs are allowed to claim their mortgage payments on “second homes” as expenses – then sell those homes and pocket the profit for themselves. This at the same time that people are struggling to pay mortgages on ‘first and only’ homes and being repossessed.)

Was she nuts? Did it not cross her tiny brain for a second that people would see her waving a cheque in the air and ask, “How the bloody hell can you afford to write a cheque for £13k?” I for one know I couldn't conjure up thirteen grand just like that.

I could go on as there are literally tons of these stories, each one more unbelievable than the last. And each one smacking of people at the top who are out of touch with the public and just have not got a clue. It makes it worse when they trot up and try and defend themselves. “I haven’t broken any rules,” is the standard excuse. What about that little rule that the rest of us live by called The Law?

Calls for the General Election have been shot down by the government. They say it’s the wrong time. They say we need time to reflect. They say it would cause chaos.

I say this is a government desperate to cling to power for as long as they can as they know they’ll lose the next election in a big, big way. I say they just want more time to line their own bloody pockets.

But anyway. Twitter. The hashtag #bbcqt was the number one trending topic worldwide from around 9:20, halfway through the show, to about 10:45-ish. We had people in North America coming on asking what the hell it was all about. We told them not to worry, it was a British thing and we’d all be in bed soon enough anyway. Of course, #bbcqt brought out the spammers too. I was offered a naked picture of Britney Spears.

Not only was #bbcqt trending at the top spot, but I was the 5th highest contributor out of over five hundred according to http://wthashtag.com/Bbcqt

So there we have it. I was trendy. (Well, trending). I don’t think I’ve ever been trendy in my live. I was Secretary if the Physics Society at University for God’s Sake – how can I have ever been trendy? But I was. So there.

Thursday 21 May 2009

A Sign of the Political Times - #bbcqt

It must be a sign of the interesting times in which we live, but the BBC have moved their ‘flagship’ political debate programme, Question Time, from it’s regular Thursday night 10:30pm (after the news) slot to a prime time, before the news, 9pm slot. I don’t know if this is a permanent change or not – I suspect not – but it does tell you just how troubled our democracy is in here in Blighty.

The scandal of PM’s expenses which has gripped the nation for almost two weeks now and has led to the effective sacking of the third most powerful person in the country, is the primary reason for tonight’s move. The last time that I can recall the BBC moving Question Time, was during the last election, when the Prime Minister faced questions from the public (as did the other two leaders, but in a change from the usual format they appeared on the platform individually rather than together. TB wasn’t keen on the idea of an actual ‘debate’ with his opponents).

Last week’s Question Time was the most compelling sixty minutes of television in a very long time. Three unfortunate MPs were offered up for public sacrifice by their parties and were joined on the panel by one of the deputy editors of The Daily Telegraph, the newspaper that broke this story, and the head of McDonalds in the UK. Now, it’s been said many times over the last week by many people, but when the head of MaccyD’s is able to take the moral high ground over the MPs, you know we’re in the crapper.

Margaret Beckett for Labour, Menzies Campbell for the Lib Dems and Theresa May for the Tories, had all obviously done something to upset someone in their parties to be put forward for the show – although I think the Lib Dems thought Menzies might keel over with heart failure and attract some sympathy for their side.

The usually sedate, polite, very ‘English"’ audience were actually heckling the panel, booing and one man got so angry he looked as if a blood vessel in his forehead might explode. I have truly never seen anything like it.

It was such a spectacle that it even made the news programmes on other channels the next day. If the MPs hadn’t already judged the mood of the electorate, then certainly got the message during that fascinating hour. The week since then has continued to see revelations about the expense claims of MPs on all sides - today we learned about the MP who claimed a floating duck house for his garden pond on expenses - and has seen some major political casualties as a result – the biggest so far being the Speaker of the House of Commons, Michael Martin, who was forced to announce his retirement from the position he’s held since 2000 after suffering a cringe-making verbal assault by MPs in the chamber on Tuesday.

I am being very careful here not to let this post spill over into my opinion of this whole scandal and the MPs who appear to have been milking the system for all its worth. If I start, I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Instead, I’ll guide my international audience – who may not know what the hell I’m on about – to the BBC’s coverage.

What I will say is that I' believe we are watching the collapse of a democracy here. The trust that the British people have had for the institution of Parliament (not the MPs within it – I don’t think we’ve ever fully trusted them. I’m talking about the institution itself) is evaporating before out eyes. The ‘Mother of Parliaments’ is on its knees.

I have never known (and I admit, at 35 I wasn’t around during the day old days of the 70s) the mood of the country to be so angry – not just with the government, but with all of them. I only hope that the party leaders who are currently in the spotlight can show some genuine leadership and restore the trust in the oldest parliament in the world.

ps, what’s with the “#bbcqt” in the blog title? Well, it’s to do with “Twitter”. Hastags are used on Twitter to help people find tweets on particular topics. #bbcqt is the tag for anything to do with the Question Time programme, and is becoming synonymous with tweets regarding UK politics in general. ‘Live Tweeting” of QT, where folks at home make comments on the show as it’s shown, has been going on since around February. It’s enhanced my enjoyment of the show no end. Last week, for the first time, the hashtag was ‘trending’. There were so many people commenting on the show and using the tag that it showed up as a worldwide ‘hot topic’. We had people from America asking what it was all about. One even commented “Oh dear, the Brits are trending again”. So, look out for the tag tonight on the search.twitter.com website. 9pm – 10pm BST. It should be interesting to say the least.

Monday 18 May 2009

Situation update

I’ve been off work since Thursday. Northing serious -  I haven’t been ill or anything. I actually took Thursday and Friday off to work on the allotment, but ended up looking after Jr who’s the one that’s been under the weather. Same again today. He’s better now, so he’ll be back to nursery, I’ll be back to work and the allotment will still need a whole lot of work doing on it.

From looking at my Twitter stream archive you’d think I’d been sitting at the computer for five days and got lots of writing done. Not so. I’ve been over the proofs for Kissed by a Rose, red a couple of stories by other writers and played with Jr even more.

So why all the tweets? Well, the thing is, Twitter is quick and easy and hellishly addictive. On Sunday, I was tweeting while I cooked lunch (Roast Beef with All the Trimmings). I was playing some music on my laptop, opened Twhirl and away we go.

Bloody Twitter. It’s the sort of thing that takes only a few seconds and lets you get on with your life, but I bet if I added up all the time I’ve spent reading and tweeting over this weekend it’d be… Well, a lot. A very lot.

I have started work on the second Kissed by a Rose cast interview and written another chapter of my WIP (although I’m not really very happy with it and might go back and re-write). Hopefully, I can finish the interview and get it posted tomorrow.

Monday 11 May 2009

An Interview with Laura Smith #KbaR

Hi, I’m Carrie Jones, senior entertainment correspondent with the BBC and in the run up to the release of the novel Kissed by a Rose by British author Marc Nobbs, I’ll be interviewing some of the characters from the book – culminating with a interview with the one and only Chloe Goodman herself on release day. I’d like to thank Mr Nobbs for kindly donating his blog for these interviews. Let’s meet my first guest.

Why don’t you introduce yourself?

Because if I didn’t no-one would know who I was, silly.

No, that’s not what I meant. Just, introduce yourself. Please.

Okay. I’m Laura Smith.

And you’re Adam’s little sister?

No. Adam’s my big brother.

Okay. Erm, well, why don’t… I mean, tell me about your role in the novel.

Oh, that, well, obviously, if it wasn’t for me there wouldn’t even be a novel. Would there?

There wouldn’t? Why not?

Because. Look, right at the start, on the first page even, I tell Adam about Chloe going to university with him. He wouldn’t know if didn’t tell him.

It think he might—

And, I suggested to him that he should try and get Chloe as his girlfriend, didn’t I? So, like, if I hadn’t suggested it, he wouldn’t have been thinking about it and they never would have got together, would they?

I don’t think we ought to be giving away the plot before the book is released, should we?

Who’s giving the plot away? I mean, if they didn’t get together, why would they say the book is about them? It’s pretty obvious when you think about it. Besides, that’s not the point of the plot is it? The point of the plot is when—

Like I said, we shouldn’t really give anything away. Let’s move on. Do you just appear at the start?

Oh, no. I’m in it later on when Chloe has to—

Don’t give the plot away!

Oh, right sorry. Yeah, well, I’m in it later and I get to meet Chloe. Can you believe it? I get to meet Chloe Goodman. Me! My friends didn’t believe me, but I got a picture on my phone. Do you want it see it?

There’s no need. Really.

No, it’s okay. Here it is look. Isn’t that cool? Me and Chloe. She’s awesome. She really is. And now she and Adam are going—

Spoilers!

Oh, right. Sorry.

Tell me about your brother.

Adam? All right. He’s, like, well, he’s Adam. He’s annoying, but he’s my brother so he’s supposed to be annoying—that’s what brothers are for isn’t it? But I suppose, he’s like, not bad, as big brothers go. No, he’s all right, really.

Okay, great. Well, thank you for your time Laura.

No probs.

I’d like to say it’s been a pleasure, but…

Eh?

Nothing. That’s all for today. Next time, we’ll be talking to Chloe’s good friend, French fashion designer Jacques Surmount. Until then, I’ve been Carries Jones. Goodnight.

Read Carrie's Interview with Jacques Surmont - Chloe's fashion designer

Sunday 10 May 2009

Got the Lergy

In one respect it’s not been a great weekend. All three of us (Mrs. Nobbs, Jr and I) have come down with a bad case of the lergy. It can’t be swine flu since none of us even know where Mexico is let alone visiting there. (Joke – Of course I know where Mexico is. I’m joking. Okay?) For my part, my sinuses hurt, my nose is blocked and I keep coughing and sneezing. Mu muscles are aching too. Mrs Nobbs feels the same and Jr is getting tired very quickly (unusual for him) and crying a lot when he wakes up from the resultant naps.

And yet, Yesterday I was still able to get out on the allotment. I managed to tidy up the entrance to the plot, plant the last of the potatoes, weed around the various crops, repair the raspberry frame, cover the strawberry plants with netting and spray the patch towards the back of the plot that’s covered in weeds and grass in the hope that it will kill them off and make it easier to clear that patch reader for more crops to go in. I’ve booked Thursday and Friday off work to do just that, but it looks like it might rain heavily for those two days. Oh, well, I’ve got a waterproof somewhere. I’ll just have to dig it out.

I’ve also been doing to some tweaking to my website. You’ll now notice the proudly displayed Union Flag, you can click on the cover of Kissed by a Rose on the main page to be taken to the book page (which was a poor omission in the first place), I’ve added some positive reader comments to Kissed by a Rose’s page and included a link to the twitter search for #KbaR.

I’ve also written the first of several interviews with the ‘stars’ of Kissed by a Rose, all of which go on my blog over he next couple of weeks as well as on the website.

I’m not looking forwards to going to work tomorrow as I’ve still got so much to do. I’m starting to feel as if I’ll never catch up. Oh well, I suppose I should stop complaining about it and just get on with it. But I’m British and complaining is what we do best. Or is it queuing that we do best?

Wednesday 6 May 2009

More good things said about Kissed by a Rose #KbaR

Fellow British author Barbara Elsborg recently beta-read Kissed for a Rose for me and had some very nice things to say about it. Barbara has been published by Ellora’s Cave and Loose Id with titles such as “Anna in the Middle” and “Something about Polly”. You can find out more about her on her website.

Barbara said of the book,

It’s a tightly written novel which explores the pressures of stardom and celebrity and keeps the reader guessing until the very end whether the pair will end up together.

The sex was steamy and got hotter and hotter.

The well-rounded characters have you willing them to succeed from the word go. The pairing of innocence and experience, celebrity and normality, reality and fantasy is handled with deftness.

Kissed by a Rose will be available to download from the Phaze website from June 1st. I’ll be posting snippets from the book on twitter throughout this month – follow me to get them or search the hashtag #KbaR

Tuesday 5 May 2009

#KbaR – look for it on Twitter

Throughout May and June I’ll be using Twitter to promote Kissed by a Rose using the hashtag #KbaR. You’ll see everything from quotes from the book (marked out because they’ll be <inside brackets like these> ) to reviews as they come in, character interviews and anything else Kissed by a Rose related. So lock #KbaR into you twitter search engine and enjoy.

Oh, and feel free to re-tweet any #KbaR tweets and use the hashtag yourself if you have anything to say about the book. This is something of an experiment in marketing for me, so we’ll have to see how it goes.

And in another marketing experiment, don’t be surprised if Chloe Goodman herself shows up on Twitter in the coming weeks. I hear she’s a bit of a technophobe but her boyfriend Adam has got it sussed (so maybe he’ll be tweeting too very soon).

Sunday 3 May 2009

Disturbing? That’s not a strong enough word

I’ve taken a couple of days to reflect on this case before writing about it for the simple reason that I didn’t want this to be a reactionary piece. To summarise what has gone on here, the man who caused the horrific death of an 18 month old boy two years ago has now been convicted of the rape of a two year old girl at around the same time.

The boy, originally called “Baby P” by the press but in the most recent trial was referred to by his actual name, Peter, died with the most horrific injuries imaginable, including a broken spine if you can believe it. He was the son of the convicted man’s girlfriend. Okay, that a convoluted way of saying it but the it’s the only way I have since the man’s identity is being protected – the courts say it’s to protect the identity of the little girl involved but you can’t help think they are also worried about what might happen to this man once he gets to prison – they don’t take kindly to child rapists in jail.

There are so many disturbing elements here that I don’t even know where to being. The way little Peter was treated was bad enough – and by his own mother and her boyfriend too. But then to also have raped a two year old girl…? To be honest, I can’t even conceive of how this is physically possible given the difference in size between a fully grown man and a two year old. I’m tempted to say “as a parent” somewhere here, but just as a normal human being this makes my blood boil, let alone as a parent.

Then we move on. If it wasn’t bad enough raping this girl, he then denied it, leading to her being made into the youngest person ever to testify at the Old Bailey. I mean, come on. This girl is currently just a few months older than my son and I couldn’t see him in a court room answering questions put to him by men in wigs. He’d be asking for chocolate all the time and telling them about Whinne the Pooh and Lightening McQueen. For this man to make a child go through this is just as bad as what he did to her in the first place.

But what on Earth possessed the authorities to put her through this? Was there not some other way to prove their case? Could they not have waited a few years until she was older? I mean, he’s already going to jail for what he did to Baby Peter, so it’s not like they wouldn’t know where to find him.

And that’s not even to mention the so-called “Child Protection" Services” who have done anything but in this case.

I think that jail is probably too good for this man. In the middle ages they would have strung him up by his cock and let the birds peck off his flesh. That somehow seems a more fitting tribute. Or perhaps they could give every father in the country twenty minutes in a locked room with him to drum into him how to small children. I for one, would have a lesson or two for him – although I might get locked up myself for it afterwards.

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