So, I’m anal am I?

Following on from yesterday’s admission that I had to compile a timeline for my WIP and I’m considering drawing up a map of Westmouthshire, I’ve come to believe that I’m actually a little anal when it comes to my stories.

Yesterday I started work on the next chapter. Given the tension that’s built up in the story over the past few chapters I want to write a tension-reliving love scene. It started with Will and Amy sitting on the sofa listening to a radio phone-in show that played love songs between callers. What I’m planning to happen is for Amy and Will to have a dance in the lounge to one of the songs which will lead into their lovemaking. So far so good.

I’m going to have Amy whisper/sing the chorus of the song into Will’s ear. The lyric will be one of two that I’ve come up with.

1) “You’re every man I want, every man I need.”

2) “You’re the only man I want, the only man I need".”

All very sweet, yes? So, what’s my problem? I don’t know which to choose. Thing is I am really anal about these things and I can’t carry on writing the scene until I’ve sorted it out in my head. Seriously, this has stopped me dead in my tracks.

Now, you may ask, what difference does it make? I’ll tell you, the first option sounds more like a song lyric to me – it has the right rhythm and just sounds ‘right’ if you try and sing it (just make up your own melody). Whereas the second one doesn’t have quite the same lyrical impact. There are too many syllables. the timing isn’t right. It just sounds ‘off’ if you try and make it sound like a song.

However, the second lyric does make more sense in terms of what Amy is trying to say to Will at this point in the story. The first one, to me at least, doesn’t quite say what I want Amy to say.

So there we have it. Which way do I jump? Say what’s right for the character, or make it sound like an ‘authentic’ song? Ah, the joys of being so bloody anal about these things.