I Promise

I must admit to having had a pretty rough couple of weeks. Work is… well, it’s work and it’s not getting any easier. It’s hard being one of only three people in the company that fully understand the position the firm is in and not being able to really share your worries about it with anyone.

But it’s not so much work issues that have been preventing me from updating this blog as regularly as I would have liked over the past couple of weeks.

As some of you may or may not know or care, my lovely wife is French and for the past couple of weeks, she’s been in France with our son visiting her parents. I speak to them both every night, and I must say that Jr’s spoken French has improved loads in the time he’s been over there, but still, it’s very lonely coming home to an empty house every night.

This should have been a great opportunity for me to get on with lots of writing. I should have finished the first draft of Eternally & Evermore, I should have updated the blog every night and I should have started on any one of the new story ideas that have been floating around in my head ever since I ‘finished’ E&E in my mind.

But that’s not how things have turned out. Yes, I have finally written the dramatic conclusion to Will and Amy’s tale of woe and now all I have to do is round it off in a satisfying way. And yes, I’ve developed some of the story ideas in my mind so that whichever I choose I’ll be able to hit the ground running with it.

But no, I haven’t updated the blog and I haven’t actually written nearly as much as I would have liked and that’s simply because being on my own has sapped my motivation somewhat. I really don’t like being alone. I do enjoy being on my own but that is different. I like to know that someone else is about and that I can be with them if I want to. I like to know I’ll have someone to greet me when I get home and snuggle up to at night. I don’t like having to cook for myself but I do love cooking for the people I love.

So instead of being creative, I’ve found myself vegging out on the sofa watching all sorts of shit on the television. Even when there’s been nothing on worth watching.

But that is going to stop. I’ve got one week by myself left. One week and then I get two weeks off work and I can drive to France and see my family. One week until my life, no, my soul, is once again whole. And in that week I intend to write as much as I possibly can. I will force myself to do it. I will not turn on the TV or start reading one blog after another. Instead I will make the most of the ‘free time’ that I have. I will finish the first draft of E&E. I will. I promise myself.